User:Nagashima0245/Wave power/GibbsOtis Peer Review

Note: I was unable to complete parts A-C due to the lack of original writing at this point. Thus, my comments below are on the project topic as a whole and the ideas selected at this point.

EDIT 3/5 - Sorry for the confusion! I looked over the writing you did, and found no issues with neutral tone, close paraphrasing, or other readability criteria. I think your edits are well structured and easy to read.

General Discussion

I like your article selection and identified content gaps. I think the last two sections of this article, those on environmental impacts and wave farms, have the most need for growth and are both in line with the material of this course. The sources that you have there seem recent and reliable, and that their content supports to idea headings you have in your outline. I specifically like the information on technological advancements for commercial applications. Whatever stuff is out there on this I feel will be most relevant to your purposes!

D. Rubric

1.     Review the rubric for the Wikipedia project final draft. Write 1-2 sentences of feedback for each section, summarizing what (if anything) the author could do to improve in that area. (You do not need to assign points or note what category of the rubric you think they fall into, unless you think it would be helpful.)


 * 1) Lead Section – Based on the rubric, you should try to summarize all the major points of the article if editing the lead section. Right now, the one point you have is about lack of commercial applications. EDIT 3/5 - Realized this wasn't really the scope in your edits to the lead section. I think just adjusting the date as you already did is good enough!
 * 2) Article – I think your thoughts are well-organized and that they support a balanced structure in the edits that have yet to be written. Just make sure your tone remains neutral and you avoid any close paraphrasing.
 * 3) References – I know information on this topic is scant, but do you think you could find any additional references to support your writing? Three feels like it may not be enough, though apologies if you found enough research there for your purposes.
 * 4) Existing Article – Since edits have not been written out yet, it’s difficult to tell what the impact was on the article as a whole.

E. Final Questions/Considerations

1.     What would you describe as the project/author's greatest strength? In other words, what do you think they are doing very well?


 * 1) I think you chose a really unique topic! Though the lack of literature may have made your research more difficult, I think there is still room for valuable discussion on this form of renewable energy.

2.     What is one thing you think the author could do to most improve their project before turning in the final draft?


 * 1) Obviously the last thing you have to do here is start writing, which will make the biggest changes before you complete your final draft. I think you are set up well with the areas you have identified as needing edits, and that you just need to keep that neutral tone in mind once you start writing out your thoughts in complete form.