User:Nalfonzo/sandbox

=Thoughts= The spectrum of gender and race and how it coincides with the origins of Patriarchy.
 * This is the first sentence I ever put in my Sandbox. When I began this Wikipedia project I did not know what I was doing, so I just put a sentence in my Sandbox just to have something there. With that sentence I actually made contributions to the Patriarchy page.

=Edits I have made=

This is a page that I have made an edit to 11/20:
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Biological_determinism

"Biological determination" is a term used in some sociological and feminist literature[1] to describe the belief that human behavior is controlled by an individual's genes. Biologists and evolutionary psychologists generally regard a charge of biological determinism as a straw man, as there is currently no support for strict biological determinism in the field of genetics or development, and virtually no support among geneticists for a strong thesis of biological determinism.[2] Biological determinism plays a role, and has played, a role in general opinion and public notions which influences the concepts of race and gender.[3]


 * This was the first sentence that I added to a Wikipedia page. I was really surprised that it stayed up because I just threw something on there to see what would happen.

This is a page that I have made an edit to 11/25:
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Patriarchy

Biologist Richard Lewontin asserts that patriarchy persists through social and political reasons rather than purely scientific reasons. In The Determined Patriarchy, Lewontin reflects feminist concerns for the future of patriarchy and how to rid society of it by uprooting the source. Some opponents of feminism have argued that patriarchy has its origin in biological reasons. This is called biological determinism, which looks at humanity from a strictly biological point of view. Thus, the evolution of science in a patriarchal society’s focus begins with man and woman. The male testosterone hormone is, for instance, known to greatly enhance risk taking behaviour; which can generate increased status in groups if successful (balanced with an equal increase in number of failures, with potential losses of status or death as result). The potential magnitude, frequency and longevity of the increased status from a hormonally driven risk-taking success depends on opportunities, which increases rapidly with societal complexity. A hypothetical patriarchal culture based primarily on a hormonally driven increased rate of male successes, thus require a certain critical level of societal evolution before it could evolve. Other proponents of this theory also posit that because of a woman's biology, she is more fit to do roles such anonymous child-rearing at home rather than high profile decision making roles such as leaders in battles. '''Through this simple basis, “the existence of a sexual division of labor in primitive societies is a starting point as much for purely social accounts of the origins of patriarchy as for biological” (Lewontin 157). Hence, the rise of patriarchy is recognized through this apparent “sexual division.”[38] Although patriarchy exists within the scientific atmosphere, “the period over which women would have been at a physiological disadvantage in participation in hunting through being at a late stage pregnancy or early stage of child-rearing would have been small” (Lewontin 157), during the time of the nomads, however, patriarchy still grew with power. However, Lewontin and others argue that such biological determinism unjustly limits women. In his study, he states women behave a certain way not because they are biologically inclined to, but rather because they are judged by "how well they conform to the stereotypical local image of femininity" (Lewontin 137).''' Feminists believe that people have gendered biases since others around them have set apart a social standard for people to follow. For instance, an American doctor said that women cannot make rational decisions during their menopausal periods. This claim may cloak the fact that men also have periods of time where they can be aggressive and irrational. Women's biological traits, such as their ability to get pregnant, are often used against them as an attribute of weakness. However, even as biology is used against women, it is often that the perceived biological bias towards them is not correct. For example, it has been asserted for over a century that women are not as intellectually competent as men because they have slightly smaller brains on average.[39] However, no substantiated significant difference in average intelligence has been found between the sexes.[40] Furthermore, no discrepancy in intelligence is assumed between men of different heights, even though on average taller men have been found to have slightly larger brains.[39] Feminists assert that although women may excel in certain areas and men in others, women are just as competent as men.[41] Therefore, through the growing power of the patriarchal system a gender bias is created in the work force like how “men are more likely to be cabinet ministers or parliamentarians, business executives or tycoons, Nobel Prize-winning scientists or fellows of academies, doctors or airline pilots. '''[As for] [w]omen [they] are more likely to be secretaries, laboratory technicians, office cleaners, nurses, airline stewardesses, primary school teachers, or social workers” (Lewontin 132). Since patriarchy has been around there is a more likely chance to be taken into consideration, for it is promoted in the educational system. Particularly in the mathematical and scientific region, since boys supposedly have more keen spatial abilities than girls whereas girls have better linguistic skills, which then contracts with the notions of different gendered brains and how there is a “relationship between intelligence and brain size” (Lewontin 143). However there is “no correlation between skull capacity and hence brain weight and ‘intellectual power’” (Lewontin 143), yet there is still a constant struggle of gender bias in science.'''


 * This is a contribution I made to the section of Biological vs. social theories. As you can see, this was a little bit of a influence from my thoughts and this contribution made also came from my midterm with a few minor edits!

This is my contribution to my group's wiki page:
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Hottentot_Venus:

The life of Sarah Baartman as the "Hottentot Venus" impacts the issues of colonialism, sexuality, race, and class. Colonialism or to be more specific, exploitation colonialism lead Sarah Baartman to become the “Hottentot Venus.” This slave act of colonialism, which became more of a show business exposed sexuality in a very different way in Great Britain and France, for the body of Sarah Baartman was not your “average body.” It was her body which intrigued her popularity, however, the color of her skin made an impact as well, which further addresses race. Race and sexuality also coincide to the creation of the offensive term “Hottentot Venus.” Race is also emphasized through the concept of class. Sarah Baartman location on the class spectrum was at the bottom of the list, for she was a woman and black, which makes her closest to a primate. Thus, class as gender is also expressed. Therefore, each factor evokes the creation of the “Hottentot Venus,” Venus which conveys the Roman goddess who is the embodiment of love and sexuality further exemplifies the name of “Hottentot Venus.” As a result, depending on sexuality, race, and class and in this case the spread of colonialism, it can be seen that society is judged through these factors which can play a part in the creation of an offensive term like the “Hottentot Venus”.
 * Strides In Feminism


 * This is probably my best experience because I was able to create a Wiki page with my group and we are able to be googled! Personally, that is one of the coolest things!

WORD COUNT: 537

=Take-Downs=

"Biological determination" is a term used in some sociological and feminist literature[1] to describe the belief that human behavior is controlled by an individual's genes. They suggest that this view has played a role in general opinion and public notions which influences the concepts of race and gender.[2]


 * The first sentence that I have ever contributed to Wikipedia has been slightly changed which can be found on the Biological Determination page.

=Peer Edits= These are peer edits that I have made to other students within the class

Peer Edit 1: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/User:JasminNavarrete/sandbox ''There wasn't much for this section, however, you might want to consider using hyperlinks. Perhaps, you can present the different views and stand points of what people think about the phall-o-meter in an objective way''
 * Members of the Intersexual Rights Movement have designed the "phall-o-meter," a small ruler that decides the permissible range of the phallus size for males and females. In her Sexing the Body Anne Fausto-Sterling states how the "phall-o-meter" is used. "If the clitoris is "too big" to belong to a girl, doctors will want to downsize it, but in contrast to the penis, doctors have rarely used precise clitoral measurements in deciding the gender of a newborn child. Such measurements, however, do exist. Since 1980, we have known that the average clitoral size of newborn girls is 0.34 centimeters. More recent studies show that clitoral length at birth ranges from 0.2 to 0.85 centimeters."

John Money declared in Anne Fausto Sterling's Sexing the Body, "From the sum total of hermaphroditic evidence, the conclusion that emerges is that sexual behavior and orientation as male or female does not have an innate, instinctive basis.” This statement by Money is disproved in chapter 3 of Sexing the Body when it is stated that congenital adrenal hyperplasia (CAH) girls tend to manufacture larger amounts of masculine hormones until birth and the production of these male hormones raises the question among scientist of whether or not the excess male hormones that a CAH girl produces has an effect on her brain development.
 * In Anne Fausto-Sterling's Sexing the body, she gives John Money's view of intersexuality by stating,: “Intersexuality, in Money's view, resulted from fundamentally ab-normal processes. Their patients required medical treatment because they ought to have become either a male or a female. The goal of treatment was to assure proper psychosexual development by assigning the young mixed-sex child to the proper gender…”

''Not much just use hyperlinks. Make sure you remember to proofread your contribution. You do not want to spell the author's name wrong. I suggest that you use the term Sexual Ambiguity in the contribution that you have made to this page. Your focus was more or less was John Money's view, expand a little bit more, and you'll be good!''

''In the Bold and italic text make it clear who you are referring to whether teens in general or black teens. I also made a few minor edits such as getting rid of "kind of", adding all and changing aspired to aspire.''
 * They were also more associated with having children out of wedlock and a child for these teens was seen as a financial escape because almost all of them did not aspire to get a higher education. Most young mothers resorted to welfare to support their child before the child was five years old. Policymakers argued that Norplant would allow teenagers to get an education and pursue a career. Also, policymakers that pushed for Norplant to be used stated that it would prevent more children from being born into poverty. The policymakers stated that the government aid dependence would decrease if Norplant was given to teens. The first big city to aggressively enforce the use of Norplant was Baltimore. The mayor at the time, Kurt Schmoke, pushed for laws that would give teen girls more access to Norplant. Norplant was eventually given to teen girls at schools without parental consent. Programs were designed for, and performed in, predominantly black school. Laurence G. Paquin Middle School became the first school to provide Norplant to their students. Paquin Middle School had 355 female students but only 5 of them were not black. Their program started off as a pilot program and soon other urban high schools like San Fernando High School in Los Angeles and Crane High School in Chicago’s West Side adopted the program of providing Norplant to their students. Because Norplant was enforced in predominantly black school, questions of racism arose amongst Black community leaders.


 * All in all the edits that I have made to your contributions on Wikipedia was not much, for you had great use of objective wording. You really know how to have a well-constructed sentence, which will take you a long way as a Wikipedia editor! Just make sure you use hyperlinks and take into consideration the suggestions that I have made.

Peer Edit 2: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/User:Malikaa1230/sandbox ''As you can see there is not really anything in bold, however, you should probably move your paragraph further up the section which is now referred to as Career and Academic Contributions. You stated in the early 1980's which is perfectly fine and you brought amazing information to that section, but to transition from "Rossiter completed her trilogy on Women Scientists in America with the publication, in 2012..." to the 1980's just does not flow properly.
 * In the early 1980's Margaret Rossiter offered two concepts for understanding the mass of statistics on women in science and the disadvantages women continued to suffer. The first she called hierarchical segregation, the well-known phenomenon that as one moves up the ladder of power and prestige fewer females faces are to be seen. This notion is perhaps more useful than that of the glass ceiling-the supposedly invisible barrier that keeps women from rising to the top-because the notion of hierarchical disparities draws attention to the multiple stages at which women drop off as they attempt to climb academic or industrial ladders. The second concept she offered was "territorial segregation" or how women cluster in scientific disciplines. The most striking example of occupational territoriality used to be that women stayed at home and men went out to work.

'' You do not need quotation marks around "the Slave Trade Act 1807 was passed," however you do have the right idea to add hyperlinks. You have good starting information for Social and Political Reform, but I feel as if there could be an expansion on information such as why she journeyed to France, which ties into how the political and social reforms from Britain differed from France. You can also discuss how becoming the object of scientific and sexual interest is socially reforming society.''
 * Following Hottentot’s performances in London, the Slave Trade Act 1807 was passed. The Slave Trade Act 1807 abolished slave trade in Britain, but not slavery itself. This created a scandal, causing the African Association to conduct a campaign for Hottentot’s freedom. Because of that Hottentot had two options: return to South Africa where her family lived or stay in England where she received profit and some freedom. Eventually, Hottentot journeyed to France in 1810 and was handed over to a predatory showman. During the time, France was considered a forward and liberal country except for that of racism towards Caribbean’s, Africans and Asians. Due to her certain sexual traits, Hottentot became the object of scientific and sexual interest.

'All in all you have made some really great contributions to Wikipedia. Even your one liner within Maria Goeppert-Mayer's page and the Intersex page goes a long way. You were always on topic with what you were explaining, I just think you need to further clarify and expand some information and you'll be fine. Other than that great job! By the way, you should add a little bit more to a Wikipedia page. I think you might be short on some words.'

=Peer Reviews= Please insert your peer edit/review that you have made to my Sandbox

By Jasmin Navarrete: Nalfonzo, You might want to consider editing the following things (Things in bold):

Biological determinism has always played a role in general opinion and public notions, which influences the concepts of race and gender.

The male testosterone hormone is, for instance, known to greatly enhance risk taking behavior; which can generate increased status in groups if successful (balanced with an equal increase in number of failures, with potential losses of status or death as result).

Feminists believe that people have gendered biases because others around them have set apart a social standard for people to follow.

Since patriarchy has been around, there is a higher chance of being taken into consideration, for it is promoted in the educational system. Particularly in the mathematical and scientific region, since it is said that boys [deletion of supposedly] have more keen spatial abilities than girls'''. [Made into two sentences] Girls are said to''' have better linguistic skills, which then contracts with the notions of different gendered brains and how there is a “relationship between intelligence and brain size” (Lewontin 143).

This slave act of colonialism, which became more of a show business exposed sexuality in a very different way than in Great Britain and France, for the body of Sarah Baartman was not your “average body.”

=References=