User:Nanetteski/sandbox

'''IMAGINARY FRIENDS IN ADULTS>

Imaginary friends in adults are not as common as in children, and as an adult can be very embarrassing and secretive There is not enough information or articles on this subject of imaginary friends in adults, so I would like to share my experience as an adult with an imaginary friend. I was having marital problems about 24yrs ago and started private therapy without my husband. I was infatuated with my therapist because he told me he was on my side and would help in any way he could. Though I only went to about 8 sessions my bond was very close to him, but when I told him I was falling in love with him he turned cold and mean rather than saying that he understood my vulnerabilities because I was having difficulties with my husband and in-laws and needed to feel close to someone, besides being a common thing. Well, I got scared and left. It was very traumatic for me and in my head I felt like he was following me home and that started me feeling like he was really there for me but didn't want to admit it. Because I felt isolated and alone from having difficulties with family around me, I felt comfort in knowing my new imaginary friend would keep me safe and keep me company when I started to go through a divorce and everyone hating me because I wanted the divorce. My husband and in-laws became abusive and meaner than they had been, but I knew my imaginary friend who I called "John" was by my side. My divorce was final but my now x-husband would harass me for the next 20 yrs., but I didn't feel alone because I had my imaginary friend John..We, meaning in my head had developed such a closeness that everywhere I went and everything I did he was there. At times he would bring up my past a lot and I realized how intense my ptsd was, so in that respect he was very mean to me. But he was very helpful in helping me shop and help me decide what to pick for dinner even. John would tell me what to wear, what time to take the kids to their lessons, even help me motivate to get a job teaching piano at our local recreation center. I never felt alone again and could share my thoughts and feelings to him when I was alone and never talked to him when other people were around. As years went on sometimes I would think for myself but he would follow me in his limo around town to make sure that I was safe. When I got overwhelmed in stores shopping, he would talk to me in my head. I used to get mad when he wasn't talking to me and stayed in a distance. We talked and he said I have to think for myself sometimes too which was about 23 yrs after having him with me all those years. I had told my current therapist one day that I had an imaginary friend for many years. She told my doctor and broke my trust in her. That frightened me and made John hide above my head and didn't speak to me. I fired my therapist and found a new therapist that kept my secrets,and because I found someone who cared so much I did not need John anymore. Sometimes I miss him so much that when I hear a train honk I feel like he's saying hi to me, and when a car door slams he's reminding me to let out my fear and anger to my new therapist and to know I am safe with my new therapist. It may sound like I'm crazy for having John in my life so long but it's what I needed to survive so I wouldn't feel alone. It's ok to have an imaginary friend as an adult if thats what you need so you wont feel alone. It's important to trust that you and your imaginary friend make good decisions about life and live in a positive and productive mind.