User:NatalieRH/sandbox

Article Evaluation
#ILookLikeanEngineer

The article is cohesive and well-organized. I thought the section talking about fundraising felt a little off and should be expanded more regarding the business/charity work that sprouted from the initial movement. There is no heavy bias; a few sentences and their tone seemed to be slightly informal, "It is here where users can use their own personal experiences and public outcry to start global dialogues that can enact change," which feels more like an argumentative statement that a factual observation. They key actors are not very expanded upon and we don't get to see both the originator, the people surrounding the movement, or the dissenters. It feels like a large chunk of background is missing. Almost all of the sources come from either the New York Times, the Los Angeles Times, or other online news outlets. There is a clear absence of reliable, scholarly sources from databases. Many are not very biased; however, they lack necessary credibility for a Wikipedia article. Many factors can be added to this article, such as a social media analysis of the movement, a timeline of events, criticisms of the movement, and its real-world influences. Maybe expanding on the history of the factors surrounding the movement would be helpful as well.

Question:

Talk:I Look Like an Engineer

Responses to Peer Review
23gobears: Thank you for the review on our group work. We have worked on the article to make it much less biased and have done this through more thorough research and better sources. We agree that in the current article, the benefits and detriments of online social movements are not equally weighted. We have attempted to make this change in our current work and will review it again to ensure that the key argument of both sides are raised to ensure neutrality, one of the key tenets of Wikipedia.

Malberk: Thank you for the very detailed review and suggestions for our draft. We will implement a little bit more structure in the intro to outline what the rest of the article will be. We will also consider adding pictures of some movements where we can. In terms of tone, we will reduce sentence length, as well as reduce the use of strong adjectives. We will also be sure to add some context and short descriptions to the examples of movements listed in the original article, because it would add to the understanding and cohesion of the article.

Alex K. Tran: Thank you Alex for the review! The important figures section is indeed very underdeveloped, but we do not intend to focus on "Key Figures" because we think this deviates from the focus of social media movements, which is the leaderless of the phenomenon that is addressed in both the Benefits and Detriments sections of our draft. Instead, we wanted to catalogue more examples, as you have pointed out: the current examples on the page could use some updating, as we have attempted to change with our new list of movements.

Addition to Lead:

Online social movements have received praise and critiques about the changes in the nature of movement mobilisation, with different movements achieving different degrees of success over the years. (In response to Malberk's comment on a more comprehensive outline)

Example of Edited Paragraph (with focus on language changes):

Online social movements have been celebrated for their ability to amass large amounts of success. The online world provides the power to organise without any formal means, scaling up mobilisation in shorter time frames. the process of mobilisation and allows for greater scale in rapid time frames. This can be understood as Social media constitutes New Power, which supports informal leadership and radical transparency, conducive for by promoting mass large amounts of participation by people on social media. Previously, the dominant form of Old Power limited participation in movements and and leadership of movements to a small group of people. Rapid mobilisation helps people overcome the social phenomenon of pluralistic ignorance, where individuals believe that they are the only person with holding a particular view. Instead, the online networked sphere helps reveal otherwise preferences to each other in order to discover common ground. The increased visibility of a movement on the internet supports a sense of camaraderie, setting and maintaining a cause, even if it is otherwise decentralised. Having overcome this pluralistic ignorance through the online world, new norms of behavior and belief can start to form through regular repetition and affirmation of messages.

Online movements are able to sustain attention across boundaries, physical and temporal. For instance, d During the Egyptian Revolution in 2011, Facebook’s event function allowed for people to organise protests, which would then be acted out upon in real-life. Similarly, the Occupy movement was able to gather an online following around the world through the Tumblr blog, titled “We are the 99%”. The function of being able to post on a shared website supported the gathering of different narratives, unifying people. In fact, Online social movements epitomise s the notion of “many yeses, one no”, which This motto highlights how the online world brings together diverse voices against a common enemy. something they all feel strongly about, by acting as integrating screens since people use these devices to connect with others, rather than to isolate themselves. In many ways, social media has created networks conducive for unification across different identities by integrating screens that connect people to support, supporting intersectional approaches to fighting injustice. For instance, The Zapatistas attempted to emphasise their inclusivity of the movement, which had begun as somewhat of a peasants revolt.