User:Natanej/Pomo traditional narratives/Mssuther Peer Review

General info

 * Whose work are you reviewing?

Natanej


 * Link to draft you're reviewing
 * https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/User:Natanej/Pomo_traditional_narratives?veaction=edit&preload=Template:Dashboard.wikiedu.org_draft_template
 * Link to the current version of the article (if it exists)

Pomo traditional narratives

Evaluate the drafted changes
The draft gave me a good overall idea of what is trying to be presented. A few overall improvements that I could comment on would be typos, organization, and filling out of material, I would want more quotes and links to articles with more in-depth information.

Some ways that I would work on adding more would be hyperlinking who the hokan speaking people were and more about them. Adding in some articles that talk about the dates and origins more so that we can have an idea of where to look to into order to lightly fact check the information. This is especially important for when you are summarizing as I want to know where it find out more about something especially when I see the claim about how the Pomo narratives use the coyote in contrast to other native beliefs and religion, what role does this character play and through out culture, history, and daily life.

Another area that I think could be worked on would be finishing thoughts that have been started, I know that this is a draft so I just wanted to mention it really quickly regarding the creation story’s, world war, and then the bullet pts at the end.

Other than that I feel like there are good ideas that just need to be strengthened with evidence, maybe a few more hyperlinks to other Wikipedia pages as that can helpful to use the information that is already readily available. And then I believe that we are supposed to have at least 10plus different citations so a few more sources, maybe mention and include links to a few people or more about specific narrative and stories as well as to more where they show up, are used, when, how and why. Also remember to make sure that everything stays very neutral and backed up with extra evidence for every bit of information told.

All in all I feel like this will be an interesting article!