User:NateLentz/Pan-African Parliament/Rosenberg22 Peer Review

General info

 * Whose work are you reviewing?

(Nate Lentz)


 * Link to draft you're reviewing
 * User:NateLentz/sandbox
 * Link to the current version of the article (if it exists)
 * Pan-African Parliament

Evaluate the drafted changes
(Compose a detailed peer review here, considering each of the key aspects listed above if it is relevant. Consider the guiding questions, and check out the examples of what feedback looks like.)

Hi Nate,

You did a good job of adding important updated information about the current members of the PAP. You also provide a really good added section about the current affairs of PAP and their difficulties, as well as the general schedule of meetings. You also did a good job of restructuring the lead section to more accurately state the goals of PAP.

You could make this lead section even stronger if you specifically reference more of the sections throughout the the article, like the structure consisting of the plenary, bureau, and secretariat. Mentioning the current affairs drama in the lead section as well would be great as this is the most current information that readers may be interested in. Adding a sub-section to the current affairs about pertinent policy consideration of PAP would also be a great addition. Just make sure you use a neutral tone when discussing the policies (which you have done a good job of for the information you have already added)

In the bureau section all of your sources about current members go back to PAP website, are there other sources out there any other biographical sources out there (news articles etc) that could add other information about these politicians? Also for the fourth vice president, I think there is a typo where it says that they are the 2nd vice president. Adding pictures of these current political figures would also be great if you can find free access versions.

Overall, I think just adding more sources and information would help to more fully fill out the page, but the information you have added has already made the page so much better!