User:Nathanel Douglas Rice

Lets talk about Shrek! Shrek is great at playing music (specifically the saxophone) I love watching him play makes my entire day better. When I was younger I looked up to Shrek because I myself wanted to play the saxophone, it's the most beautiful instrument to be created. When I was just a boy my mother made me play the violin but that was not my passion. When I got older my love for the epic saxophone did not go away, in fact, it only grew. Shrek was still my idol at that point and so I made the decision to quit violin despite my mothers orders. I sold my violin to an old man on the side of the road and used the money to buy my very own saxophone. My saxophone was perfect I had hoped to buy a pink one but this one did just fine. I took lessons (from my lovely grandmother) I took lessons from her for a total of 1 year 4 months and 12 days. It was a great experience and I wish it could have lasted longer. Sadly, my grandmother passed away 3 weeks ago. I was jamming out with my cool saxophone thinking about Shrek and when I began dancing and spun around quickly. My grandmother got hit in the head with tom (my sax) she fell on the floor and died. After that, I continued to learn on my own and played at every chance I got. For example, I played at my grandmother's funeral. Shrek has inspired me and I hope he inspires many more. Bless his beautiful soul. Lets get more into Shrek! He is green, he plays the sax, he is a lady's man, he is the coolest. His green color I think represents his cool hunky personality. He plays the saxophone and is an inspiration to many music playing people, being the best saxophone player to exist. When I think Shrek, I think lady's man! He is one steamy ogre and I am lowkey jealous of his good looks. I've tried to be more like Shrek, I bath in mud, I bought a pet donkey (but mine doesn't talk) I was even Shrek for Halloween (except I loved the costume so much I've been wearing it ever since). I hope to become just like Shrek when I'm older. I hope to fall in love with a sexy green ogre lady and have little green crotch goblins. I fell in love with a green woman once and we smooched for a total of 2 minutes and 34 seconds. It was sooooo awesome except for the part where she left green skid marks on the mattress. It was horrible. She crouched over my bed gremlin style and just started pooing everywhere. How am I going to have ugly little green babies if she keeps doing that? After that I broke up with her and cried all week. Shrek would be very disappointed in me. I'm sorry my hunky green idol I failed you.