User:Nehal al-Shamy/User:SherifaOsman/Ahmad Sah l Bahmani Mausoleum/Nehal al-Shamy Peer Review

General info
Sherifa Osman
 * Whose work are you reviewing?


 * Link to draft you're reviewing:User:SherifaOsman/Ahmad Sah l Bahmani Mausoleum - Wikipedia
 * Link to the current version of the article (if it exists):

Evaluate the drafted changes
Lead

The lead gave a good overview of the mausoleum's location and history. It also illustrated its importance being the earliest in the cemetery.

However, the word "longest" was not very clear to me. You may want to consider another choice such as "the biggest" or "the tallest" if you wish to refer to its height. Besides, you do not need to write mausoleum/ tomb since both refer to the same thing. This issue is repeated several times in the article where you could choose one word only.

Content

The content covered many aspects of the architecture and the history of the building. It was informative and logical in sequence. Yet, it might benefit from more organization. There are also some over-generalizations such as the claim that " Sultan Ahmad's tomb, is an evident proof that he was a follower of the Shi'a belief." You did not provide enough evidence after that on how it works as evidence of his Shiism, which you might want to clarify more before delving into describing the architecture. The same might apply to the statement " The dome is lavishly adorned with inscriptions reflecting the local visual culture," where you might need to illustrate how the decoration was inspired from local elements. Besides, some word choices might need reconsideration such as using "vegetal" instead of "non-figural" or "the walls are covered" instead of "furnished."

Tone and Balance

The tone was mostly neutral and academic, which conforms with the requirements of Wikipedia.

Sources and References

You have not provide yet your list of references.

Organization

The article might benefit from reorganizing some parts or replacing some headings. You might consider adding a section on the location or restructuring the Religion and beliefs section to talk about the patron. I suggest changing the heading to "Religious Affiliations" since you are describing the religious groups of the period and how the Bahmanis responded to them. This can all go under one heading of Patronage. In this regard, you might provide a brief biography then delve into his religious affiliations with Shiism, which you provided in the second paragraph. Also, the last section might be renamed as "Shii Symbolism."

Images and Media

No images have been added yet.

Significance of the New Article

The article is important since it provides an entry on a historically important and interesting Islamic monument in India.

Overall Impression

The article is good in general but would benefit from more organization.