User:Neil Givens/Newspaper Rock/Honga2 Peer Review

General info

 * Whose work are you reviewing?

User:Neil%20Givens


 * Link to draft you're reviewing
 * https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/User:Neil%20Givens/Newspaper_Rock?veaction=edit&preload=Template%3ADashboard.wikiedu.org_draft_template


 * Link to the current version of the article (if it exists)
 * Newspaper Rock State Historic Monument

Evaluate the drafted changes
Hey Neil, I think the edits you've drafted in your sandbox so far will be a great addition to the article. You've added clarification to the composition of desert varnish, and included a reliable source that wasn't present in the article before. You've also removed an unreliable source, which is definitely a good thing for the overall quality of the article. However, since the source has been removed, I think you may want to keep in mind that the following sentence in your sandbox could be flagged for plagiarism (specifically close paraphrasing):

"The ancient artists produced the many types of figures and patterns by carefully chipping the coated rock surfaces with sharpened tools to remove the desert varnish and expose the lighter rock beneath."

I'm not sure how you intend to structure the article, but you may want to consider breaking up some of the information you've written in your "Article body" into subsections. Specifically, the first paragraph talks about the construction of the petroglyphs, but the next two lines are mostly about interpretation of them. If you can find any oral histories from the Native population in the area, that could be a worthwhile section to add as well. Other than that, I think you're definitely on the right track and you have a really great start on the article.