User:NeonAfterlife/Sam Feder/Just an archaeologist Peer Review

General info
(NeonAfterlife)
 * Whose work are you reviewing?


 * Link to draft you're reviewing:https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/User:NeonAfterlife/Sam_Feder?veaction=edit&preload=Template:Dashboard.wikiedu.org_draft_template
 * Link to the current version of the article (if it exists):Sam Feder

Evaluate the drafted changes
General Notes - Really appreciated the opportunity to learn a bit about Sam Feder! I think the quote provided in the Early life and Education section is informative and says a lot in just a few words. You have also spent an appropriate amount of time on each section, with a ton of great references. Just missing the filmography section.

Lead - Your lead has all the necessary information, however the flow seems just a little choppy. Particularly in the first three sentences. Instead of having those three separate sentences maybe try something like, "Sam Feder is a transgender American Filmmaker whos work is focused on the exploration of visibility regarding race, class, and gender. Feders main concern is in bringing visibility to trans peoples experience using his films."

Content - The Early Life section does a good job of introducing where Feder came from and why he does what he does. Did he attend secondary education that may have affected him as well? Or was it just high school? Career and Films following the first paragraph of this section I'm not sure I follow exactly what the rest of the section is about. I'm assuming these are notes that will be expanded on, in that case I'm looking forward to see how you expand on them, they seem interesting!

Tone - A good neutral tone! You state facts and there is no obvious bias that I could detect.

Sources - Tons of good sources! All seem up to date and cemented.

I'm looking forward to reading more!