User:Nepsy23/Kathoey/Envsciencenku Peer Review

General info
(Nepsy23)
 * Whose work are you reviewing?


 * Link to draft you're reviewing
 * User:Nepsy23/Kathoey
 * Link to the current version of the article (if it exists)
 * Kathoey

Evaluate the drafted changes
(Compose a detailed peer review here, considering each of the key aspects listed above if it is relevant. Consider the guiding questions, and check out the examples of what feedback looks like.)

The lead has not had more information added to it. The lead of the original article gives a good layout of the topic and accurately defines the topic being discussed.It doesn't layout all of the major sections but the information in the sections are accurate to the title. The lead describes the topic and includes the information throughout the article. It is concise, but some of the information could instead be included in other sections, specifically the last couple sentences. Overall the lead is a strong paragraph.

The content is relative to the topic, emphasizing the importance of these individuals in their culture. It is better than the original section because the insert you included an author "believes," which is not neutral or a proven fact. The information you added was not biased and remained neutral. The information you added was underrepresented in the article previously. The information is not persuasive. The information added used a source that is up to date, as of last year.

I found this information to help my understanding of the topic. It could be beneficial to add additional images within the article since there is only one. Additional sources may helps support the information included as well. The references included are the same source, just with different pages being cited.I am unsure if it needs to be added for multiple times to cite the same source with different pages, so that may be something to check!

The article already has a decent amount of content, but the added information helped add information surrounding their cultural views and beliefs. It is a good addition to the article, If there were images of performances, for example, could help tie in a visual to the content added. There is a capitalization error in the last section ("however").The page includes a lot of references, and you had added an addition reference. You included two other sources in your bibliography, and not in your references; those may need to be combined. I'm also unsure if you should directly include the authors name of who you are referencing information from (Jackson). The amount of sources are good to support the content in the article, but there could be more included for additional information you find and add to your article.