User:NewEnglandYankee

Subpages In the course of my editing, I have oft-times noted that the typical WikiVandal is, shall we say, "differently clued." (Big surprise, I know.) In the spirit of helpfulness, and to make my cleanup edits more enjoyable, I would like to offer a few simple tips for these aspiring Shakespeares.

1. Among grown-ups, the word "gay" is not by itself considered a smashingly devastating display of wit and eloquence.

2. If you still get thrills from looking up naughty words in the dictionary, try Wiktionary. Eventually you'll reach puberty, and the excitement will (hopefully) wear off.

3. Writing "Fred is cool!" or the equivalent instantly demonstrates beyond any doubt, to several million Wiki-users, that Fred is actually a simpering twerp.

4. If you persist, you'll be blocked. That means you won't be able to edit. You could achieve the exact same result by simply doing nothing! You might want to think about what it is in your creepy little subconscious that makes you desperately want/need to be actively forbidden to do something. Wikipedia is not a substitute for therapy.

More helpful hints when I can think of them ...

This user is apparently a puppet
According to, I am "a puppet of the Guerilla Skepticism on Wikipedia movement". An actual Movement! I'm naturally flattered, but I have so many questions. Such as: If one of the shadowy Secret Masters of the Guerilla Skepticisim on Wikipedia Movement could get in touch with me, that would be great. Thanks.
 * Is there a secret handshake? Do I at least get a membership card?
 * What if I had only barely registered the article content--do I still qualify?
 * What do I have to do to get promoted from "puppet" to "tool"?
 * Speaking as the leader of the shadow movement, you need to show up to more meetings if you want to learn the secret handshake, we keep sending you the quadrants and time/date for the meetings (via our normal channel - telepathy) but for some reason you continue to refuse to show up. That's three strikes and now you are out. I will leave your last payment from the illuminati in the usual place under the normal rock shaped like a G.Sgerbic (talk) 15:02, 2 April 2018 (UTC)
 * Oh, golly. I just checked my hippocampus, and I found all your messages sitting in the spam-folder neurons. I hope I get to at least keep the lapel pin and decoder ring. NewEnglandYankee (talk) 19:49, 2 April 2018 (UTC)
 * Sorry, NewEnglandYankee, there actually is as of yet no secret handshake. (Unless they just don't trust me with it yet.) But there ARE other perks of membership... like... like... Well, how about fame for starters? You might be selected to do a podcast promo for our team that will be heard by upwards of tens of other people! RobP (talk) 00:08, 3 April 2018 (UTC)
 * AHA! We always knew you guys were having secret meetings without us! We've been discussing it for years in the Paranoid Schizophrenics Society. —Dilidor (talk) 13:55, 1 August 2018 (UTC)
 * Sure, you say that now, after the fact. Can you document it, though? Is there independent evidence to that effect? I didn't think so. NewEnglandYankee (talk) 01:45, 2 August 2018 (UTC)