User:Ngwanyana/African-American beauty/Blakemurray7 Peer Review

General info

 * Whose work are you reviewing?

Ngwanyana


 * Link to draft you're reviewing
 * https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/User:Ngwanyana/African-American_beauty?veaction=edit&preload=Template%3ADashboard.wikiedu.org_draft_template


 * Link to the current version of the article (if it exists)
 * African-American beauty

Evaluate the drafted changes
Lead

It is updated, edited well and includes the proper links to any other articles or subjects mentioned that expand beyond what the topic is itself. The topic sentence does a good job at introducing the subject matter along side making sure the information presented does not go into any extra detail than necessary.

Content

The content does a good job at transitioning into a bigger idea but I feel as if they could of gone into more depth as I was interested in the topic they produced but never followed through. All the provided content as correlated to the subject matter and served a purpose in giving background or support in some way. The links are up to date and do a very good job at portraying the equity gaps within the Wikipedia guidelines.

Tone and Balance

The content added was very neutral as it was merely shining a light on the subject matter rather than trying to portray one side more than another. I found no representation or under-representation of any points nor any particular positions that felt out of context or biased  from one's individual point of view. I also found no persuasion in trying to make the audience think of one’s viewpoint more than another but rather than the education of a topic that is not commonly talked about.

Sources and References

All the secondary sources of information are reliable as they're all accessible to the college and they all have content that reflects what the title or background of the title is referring to. They all reflect the current article or items related to the article that are necessary to understand in order to further the article's viewpoint. The spectrum of authors gathered also provides a unique perspective as it is diverse in culture as the subject matter is something that needs to be represented by people getting affected rather than those simply trying to chime in.

Organization

Well I feel like there can definitely be more content added to this article as a whole, I feel like the organization is very well written as it starts with the lead and then has a smooth transition paragraph before referencing the main body of the article. I found no major grammatical or spelling errors and over all the sections that were previously made do a good job of representing the information.

Images and Media

N/A

Overall Impression

I think overall this is a really interesting article that has a clear, definitive path of producing an unknown but yet important topic that is not addressed enough. I feel like this Edition will be critical for the article as a whole as it will add both inside and information to an underdeveloped the side of Wikipedia. I feel like the strength of this context that were added were the diverse set of sources and the main way can be approved as simply adding more.