User:Nhochfelder/Shamanic music/Bstark88 Peer Review

Peer review
This is where you will complete your peer review exercise. Please use the following template to fill out your review.

General info

 * User: Nhochfelder
 * Link to draft you're reviewing: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/User:Caitlinbarr/General_Hospital_of_Paris/Bstark88_Peer_Review?veaction=edit&preload=Template%3ADashboard.wikiedu.org_peer_review

Lead

 * I think is really good!

Content

 * Maybe try to find more modern examples.

Tone and Balance

 * I thought the first sentence in the use of sounds paragraph felt opinionated. "imaginary inner environment" felt like inappropriate wording.
 * Shamanism and possession section has some interesting information and is cited. I would go through that citation and  see what its like, but agree something is off with the section as a whole.  Maybe try taking some of the better sentences and using those in other sections?

Sources and References

 * That one unreferenced part I would search the words to maybe find where it came from. If someone came up with it isnt cited, well it is a bit out there talking about particularly rhythmic pulses being so powerful, so I'd toss it.

Organization

 * I would like to see a breakdown of shamanism in different cultures. I get why isn't currently since theres not a lot for each, but it feels a little confusing having them so combined.
 * I think that "use of sounds" should be renamed or something. Drums are also a sound, and I think differentiating it from drums is confusing and sounds just seem really general.

Images and Media
Add images or audio if you can find it, but I would guess it would be particularly difficult for this topic.

Overall impressions

 * Its a good article to be working on, and I think with some better structure and moving stuff around, removing a couple sloppy things, it'll be in good shape!