User:NicholasDeniro/Selective mutism/Jdoriscar Peer Review

Peer review
This is where you will complete your peer review exercise. Please use the following template to fill out your review.

General info

 * Whose work are you reviewing? (NicholasDeniro)
 * Link to draft you're reviewing: User:NicholasDeniro/New sandbox 2

Content
Generally speaking, the content is related to the topic and does a good job of helping the article flow from an introduction of the psychopathology to a method of treatment for the specific anxiety related disorder. The content does a good job of broadly defining the varying methods of treatment in a way that allows the average reader to understand clearly. There are sentences within the article that utilize words that would not be understood outside of the discipline of psychology, but the author does a good job at linking these words to other articles to other wikipedia articles that explain these concepts further and more efficaciously. In particular, the words reinforced and anxiolytics are hyperlinked to other articles. Overall, the author did an effective job and does not have much room to improve in terms of content.

Organization, Tone, and Balance
Generally the author remains somewhat unbiased, but there are issues with within the article of phrasing. The author writes, "Some practitioners believe there would be evidence indicating anxiolytics to be helpful in treating children and adults with selective mutism, to decrease anxiety levels and thereby speed the process of therapy." Who is some practitioners? What is meant by they believe, in particular do they have research to found these beliefs or suggestions? The author also is ambiguous in their reasoning as to whether their content is from actual research or from pure speculation. Within the article, the author writes "Medication, when used, should never be considered the entire treatment for a person with selective mutism. However, the reason why medication needs to be considered as a treatment at all is because selective mutism is still prevalent, despite psychosocial efforts. But while on medication, the person should still be in therapy to help them learn how to handle anxiety and prepare them for life without medication, as medication is typically a short-term solution." This entire paragraph is greatly ambiguous and leaves the reader questioning whether it is information from actual research or biased ideology created completely by the author. Lastly, another sentence by the author seems ambiguously biased "Since selective mutism is categorized as an anxiety disorder, using similar medication to treat either makes sense." In particular, the last two words "makes sense" leaves the reader wondering makes sense to who? Overall tone, balance, and phrasing all need work. The author needs to slightly work on their organization as the content does flow well, but sentence structure negatively impacts the article.

Sources and References
The author has a considerable amount of sources for the length of their section. However, the author does not utilize citations throughout the entire paper. As mentioned in the tone and balance section, the author is ambiguous and their approach and leaves the reader to question the validity of the information. If the author increased their sources then they would be able to strengthen the empirical support of the article, which in return strengthens the validity of the paper.

Overall impressions
Overall the author did a good job in developing this section within the original article. Originally, the article had an underdeveloped section on treatment not in terms of length but in terms of quality. The original treatment section of this article lacks citations and is generally ambiguous and untrustworthy. So with this addition the author holds the potential to further develop this section of the original wikipedia article.The author is definitely going down the right path and only has to make some minor edits to improve the overall quality of this section. Overall I would say that I am impressed, but see potential for more of an impact.