User:Nickww6/Mineral water/Turuneam8321 Peer Review

General info
Nickww6
 * Whose work are you reviewing?


 * Link to draft you're reviewing
 * User:Nickww6/Mineral water
 * Link to the current version of the article (if it exists):Mineral water

Evaluate the drafted changes
The lead was not the portion of the paper that was edited because it introduces mineral water and describes what it is composed of. However, there is a lead to the section of the paper that was added and it has an introductory sentence that introduces the next section. The content added to the article is very beneficial because it talks about the chemicals that are in mineral water and what each specific chemical does in the body. The information provided is up to date and uses studies within the past couple years to support the evidence. I don't believe there is any content that is missing.

The content added is neutral because it is providing scientific information about the different chemicals in mineral water. There are no other viewpoints to consider and it is directly from scientific sources. There is no persuasion to try to get people to drink mineral water, as the information is simply describing what is in it and what benefits may come from them.

Every sentence is cited after new information that is not commonly known is introduced to the reader. The information from the sources is not plagiarized and is correctly paraphrased into the article. The sources come from scientific articles, the CDC, colleges, Mayo Clinic, and public health. The sources are written by a diverse spectrum of authors, especially the scientific articles.

The content added is very clear and easy to follow because it is in bullet points as a list. This makes it easier to follow rather than in one big paragraph. The only sentence that might have a small error is the ferrous iron sentence - I think "oxygen transport" should be switched around the other way to be more clear. Otherwise there are no grammatical errors.

Overall, the addition to this article provided a more scientific background to the components in mineral water as well as the potential health benefits. I really like how the information was added in bulletpoints because it was clear and easy to read compared to paragraphs. You could potentially go deeper into the chemistry of mineral water, though I'm not sure how interesting or necessary that would be.