User:Nickww6/Mineral water/Whybarsb2333 Peer Review

General info
Nickww6
 * Whose work are you reviewing?


 * Link to draft you're reviewing
 * User:Nickww6/Mineral water
 * Link to the current version of the article (if it exists)
 * Mineral water

Evaluate the drafted changes
Published Article:

"Traditionally, mineral waters were used or consumed at their spring sources, often referred to as "taking the waters" or "taking the cure," at places such as spas, baths and wells. The term spa was used for a place where the water was consumed and bathed in; bath where the water was used primarily for bathing, therapeutics, or recreation; and well where the water was consumed."

I would suggest fixing this paragraph that is already present in the current article, it does not seem very relevant to the topic. I think a brief history is nice, however we do not need to know the etymology of the term spa.

Also, the information contained under the subsections is not applicable throughout. Maybe add more subsection headings, then more information under each?

Your Draft:

The information you want to add is relevant, and well written. The section title should probably be more focused on the health benefits from mineral water. Move the chlorine bullet point to a different section, its not a positive effect. Im sure there are also more health benefits out there, maybe try to expand on the previous authors input of the traditional use for baths/spa.

If you are going to go into the benefits of mineral water, I think it would be good to touch on any potential negatives. Like drinking unfiltered water, could it be parasitic, bacteria present, etc? I think this would be important to keep the tone neutral.

Could you find percent composition of minerals in mineral water vs drinking water? I think this would help readers picture how different mineral water is from drinking water.