User:Nicolecmerhi/Mirabal Sisters/Promisepitman Peer Review

General info

 * Whose work are you reviewing?

nicolemerhi


 * Link to draft you're reviewing
 * User:Nicolecmerhi/Mirabal Sisters


 * Link to the current version of the article (if it exists)

Evaluate the drafted changes
Lead: I don't think your lead is a very strong or clear introduction to the article. Maybe try identifying each individual sister in the first sentence, basic info (birthday, etc), and then a quick summary of their importance/ the main points of the article. The current lead is vague and confusing but would work well later in the article.

Content: The content seems to have some holes in it? I'm confused as to what the sister's impact is because it's never identified point-blank. I think you have a decent summary started there but overall, the article seems incomplete and vague. Explicitly identifying each person mentioned would help the reader understand their importance. I would try being more detailed and chronological.

Tone & Balance: The current article seems neutral. I don't notice any signs of bias or influence.

Sources and References: You guys have lots of great sources to pull information from. I went through them and saw lots of info that would have helped fill gaps in your article. The sources are current and thorough. The 3rd link is not available though. I think you guys have built a great foundation with those though!

Organization: Unfortunately, I don't think the article is currently organized well. It's confusing and spotty. I think starting with an identifiable lead and then working your way chronologically through the information you have on these sister's would work well! I can understand how overwhelming it might be to work with all the information you have on them. I also noticed some missing commas and run-on sentences so maybe comb through it again.

Overall Impressions: I think you guys have a lot of strong sources to pull information from. The current article is a good skeleton to continue building off of. As a reader, I would suggest being more detailed and specific. For example, the sister's names aren't really laid out until the very last paragraph. It has great potential and they're very interesting subjects, but at the moment your article is a little confusing. I can totally understand this- I've also had trouble with this project. Good job, just keep working on it!