User:Niffweed17/notability

When Wikipedia was created by the almighty Jimbo back in the early days of yore, the Gods came down upon Wikipedia and said unto it, "Thou shalt be an encyclopedia which anyone can edit and contribute knowledge to, and thou shalt come to represent the sum total of human knowledge."

When the Gods said this, what did they really mean? Sure, on Wikipedia, you can read about such famous figures as Charles Darwin. But not about Jimmy Edrikutchid. That's okay, because nobody cares about Mr. Edrikutchid. The users at Wikipedia have developed an elaborate system to determine whether or not Mr. Edrikutchid should be admitted onto Wikipedia's hallowed servers. As it turns out, Mr. Edrikutchid, as a nonexistent entity created for the purpose of this page, has never guest-starred on The Simpsons, has never been a President of Venezuela, and has never founded an asylum for the criminally insane. For these reasons, he is so thoroughly insignificant to life on this planet that he shall never have a Wikipedia article written in his name.

Wikipedia, of course, as decreed by the Gods, is to be the some total of human knowledge. Thus, clearly, Mr. Edrikutchid, being so thoroughly unimportant to human life, will be ostracized and forgotten by his notable peers. Clearly, Wikipedia will control the government, extract the countenance and history of Mr. Edrikutchid from every organism on the planet and banish the subatomic particles which previously formed Mr. Edrikutchid's body from this plane of existence. Mr. Edrikutchid, as well as the other infinity concepts of minimal notability, will be forever ostracized from existence.