User:Nikilopez1021/Access for Afghan Women Act/Kaciele00 Peer Review

General info

 * Whose work are you reviewing?

I am reviewing Nikilopez1021 article on Access for Afghan Women Act.


 * Link to draft you're reviewing
 * User:Nikilopez1021/Access for Afghan Women Act
 * Link to the current version of the article (if it exists)
 * Access for Afghan Women Act

Evaluate the drafted changes
Hi Niki, here is the peer review of your article.

Lead

 * Has the Lead been updated to reflect the new content added by your peer?Does the Lead include an introductory sentence that concisely and clearly describes the article's topic?   The lead has been updated to reflect the new content added by my peer which includes an introductory sentence that concisely and clearly describes the topic of the bill introduced to help Afghan women.
 * Does the Lead include a brief description of the article's major sections? The lead section does include a brief description of the article's major section.
 * Does the Lead include information that is not present in the article? The information that was included in the lead was presented in the article.
 * Is the Lead concise or is it overly detailed? The lead was concise, however, maybe try to avoid using "the bill" in almost all the sentences in the article.

Content

 * The content added to the article is relevant to the topic and up-to-date as well as providing an additional link for more information on your chosen topic.
 * "The bill attempts to secure these by appropriating funding, establishing aid allocation requirements, defining objectives of United States international policy in Afghanistan, and setting standards of behavior for the United States in executing policy." In this sentence in your lead, maybe be specific with what the bill is attempting to secure. "These" can indicate a lot of things such as equality, education, training, etc. Overall, I think the content goes hand in hand with each other.
 * The article does deal with one of Wikipedia's equity gaps on women and girls in Afghan which relates to the historically underrepresented population.

Tone and Balance

 * Is the content added neutral? The content that was added is neutral. I saw no bias in the content. :)
 * Are there any claims that appear heavily biased toward a particular position? No, there weren’t any claims that appeared heavily biased towards a particular position.
 * Are there viewpoints that are overrepresented, or underrepresented ? A viewpoint that was underrepresented was the Taliban view, such as why they decided to implement strict laws for women and girls.
 * Does the content added attempt to persuade the reader in favor of one position or away from another? The content added does not attempt to persuade the reader in favor of one position or away from the other since the article is mainly facts.

Sources and References

 * Is all new content backed up by a reliable secondary source of information? Most new content is backed up by reliable secondary sources of information. As I was reading through your article I noticed how in this sentence, "It was after the terrorist attack on September 11th, 2001, the United States increasingly started taking control," you mentioned how the US increasingly started taking control. Maybe add a source to that information because what leads you to this information.
 * Does the content accurately reflect what the cited sources say? The content does accurately reflect what the cited sources say.
 * Are the sources thorough - i.e. Do they reflect the available literature on the topic? The sources does reflect the available literature on the topic
 * Are the sources current? The sources are currently ranging in the 2000s.
 * Are the sources written by a diverse spectrum of authors? Do they include historically marginalized individuals where possible? I think that one of the sources that was used seems to be written with multiple perspectives since it is a journal article in which the author had collected information from different sources.
 * Are there better sources available, such as peer-reviewed articles in place of news coverage or random websites? Maybe use more government official articles since it is based on a bill that was implemented by the government. Here is a link to a government achievement of this topic: https://2001-2009.state.gov/g/drl/rls/6185.htm . You did provide a peer-reviewed article.
 * The links that were provided as references works, however, the link for any additional information ( http://thomas.loc.gov/cgi-bin/bdquery/z?d108:h.r.01482 :) does not work. Maybe try to find some other link that gives more information on the bill. Maybe you can use this link that I had found, https://www.congress.gov/108/bills/hr1482/BILLS-108hr1482ih.pdf.

Organization

 * Is the content added well-written - i.e. Is it concise, clear, and easy to read? The content of the article is well-written, I was able to get a clear understanding of the article while having it be easy for me to read.
 * Does the content added have any grammatical or spelling errors? The content does not have any grammatical or spelling errors.
 * Is the content added well-organized - i.e. broken down into sections that reflect the major points of the topic? I think there could be more sections to point out major points of the topic. Maybe instead of giving headers like "Article body" give it a heading that gives the reader a clear idea of what the section is about.

Images and Media

 * Does the article include images that enhance understanding of the topic? The article does include images that enhance understanding of the topic by showing us the areas in which the Taliban took over. However, I think that the photo does not seem to fit in the article topic since the article does not include the way women would dress.
 * Are images well-captioned? The images are well-captioned giving details on what the photo is showing to the viewers.
 * Do all images adhere to Wikipedia's copyright regulations? The images do adhere to Wikipedia's copyright regulation.
 * Are the images laid out in a visually appealing way? The images are laid out in a visually appealing way.

Overall impressions

 * Has the content added improved the overall quality of the article - i.e. Is the article more complete? I think that the content added did improve the article but I feel like the article is not completed. Maybe add more on how this act would help women with the funds and support that the United States is offering.
 * What are the strengths of the content added?  Adding the information about what caused the Taliban to enforce strict law strengthens the article by giving a little bit more of a background information as to why the United State decided to implement this law.
 * How can the content added be improved? Maybe add a little bit more about what type of regulation was implemented in the bill.