User:NjagiKevin/sandbox

Kevin Straaten was born somewhere in Nairobi in the spring of 1997. The exact date and circumstances of his birth are unknown since he was immediately placed in a basket and tossed in a river. Young Kevin rode the pristine Alpine glacial melt waters for hundreds of miles before a young pulchritudinous woman discovered the basket along the banks of the river Po. Some say it was this first early journey to Milan that fueled his love for both exploration and fashion. The woman would raise Lorenzo as her own, naming him Straaten after her father and giving him the surname Von Straaten to reflect his awesomeness as well as his uncommonly large penis.