User:Nonsequitur87/sandbox

The Bushwackers

The Bushwackers are a fictional group consisting of Lee Soucek, Luka Suon, and JJ Armstrong. The three formed their business originally as a side venture for making extra money but could not decide on their modus operandi. As such, from episode to episode the nature of their business changes, from repair men to mercenaries to private investigators. In their adventures they encounter numerous individuals, creatures, and situations that not only test their intellect but also each other.


 * Origins

The group was formed in 2017. In the pilot episode The Terror Below Lee is a bit apprehensive about the name and asks Luka where he got it from. He replies it came from watching an episode of The Grand Tour (namely part 2 of "Beach Buggy Boys") where they travel to Namibia and head to a store called "Bushwhackers" which gives Luka the idea to use the name, however with the spelling tweaked. Lee is still not keen on the name as he feels it sounds too much like a perverts club but eventually relents.


 * History

First Adventure: The Terror Below

The Bushwackers first advertise themselves as repairmen (namely contractors) and answer the request for a home repair job. However, unbeknownst to the trio, the damage to the client's house was caused by the Carolina Ghost Worm, a titanic monster that is indigenous to the Carolinas and has an albino appearance. At first the trio are clueless to the matter until JJ suddenly vanishes and Lee and Luka discover a gaping hole in the former kitchen and venture in to find a cavern full of slimes and eggs. They see the eggs open up and quickly flee to see the Worm appear and begin laying waste to the town until they accidentally knock over fertilizer, which proves to be caustic to the creature. This gives Luka an idea and he drives off to get more fertilizer. Lee and JJ are promptly arrested by the U.S. Army.

Lee and JJ are interrogated by the government about their involvement with the worm but, when they don't get the answer they want, they are gassed. Luka returns and begins mixing a concoction and is about to light it when the Army arrives to arrest him as well, with Lee and JJ in tow. Luka drops the lit fuse and the worm erupts from the ground. The Army, stunned, begin open firing on the monster and the mixture he concocted earlier explodes, killing the worm. While the general is trying to make sense of what happened Lee uses this as an opportunity to market the group. When the general looks at the business card he asks, "The Bushwackers? That's you guys?"

The Early Adventures

Shortly after their encounter with the Carolina Ghost Worm Lee buys a brand new TV and is sucked into it, finding himself trapped in another dimension (Lee Loves TV). After that the trio (still advertising themselves as repair men) are hired to fix a faulty HVAC system in a suburban neighborhood in south Charlotte and discover, to their horror and amazement, a balrog living beneath the street. They discover the subterranean creature has been responsible for the goings on in the neighborhood and they end up killing it using baking soda and water (There's a Balrog Under the House). Their next adventure involves going to a sushi restaurant where they are attacked by an angry mother octopus incensed at having her children consumed (Sushi). A week later, JJ visits his friend Chlora in Asheville and has a one night stand. When he fails to call her back she turns him into a frog and he seeks his colleagues' help in reversing the spell, although the two are obsessed with a Risk like board game called "Conquest" (The Frog).

A Strange Turn

Things begin to take on a surreal turn in the next episode Attack of the Watermelons. The police call in the Bushwackers to help investigate the disappearance of numerous people. In each case, there were numerous amounts of watermelon seeds. While Lee and JJ are stumped Luka casually points out the watermelons have been turning their victims into cannibalistic watermelons, a theory that proves to be correct later on. The trio defeat the watermelons using pesticide, although it has the undesired consequence of killing the now reverted human victims.

Next they are called to dump some dangerous and toxic material for a construction company. Lee, eager to save money, persuades the other two to dump the toxic waste in a seemingly abandoned pond near Salisbury. Things seem to go well until a local, who has been swimming in the pond, emerges transformed and seeks vengeance on the trio. It kidnaps Lee and lures the two to an empty lot. While he seemingly gets the upper hand Luka ends up killing it by shoving rebar into its jaw. Later on, a van pulls up and some men grab the body and drive off, their intentions unknown (Illegal Dumping).

The Bushwackers are next called to investigate a recent spike of bear attacks in the Uwharries in central North Carolina. They decide to spend the night at the camp site and manage to capture a bear (which is a furrie) but then they discover that a cult of furries have perpetrated these murders to cleanse the national park of all campers. The leader of the cult, Ursus, converts Lee to his cause where he gives him the name "Matok". Luka and JJ are bound to trees and are unceremoniously burned. However, the trees they are tied to collapses into the lake and the two swim to safety where they plan their next move. The following day, the furries see bottles of honey and fish hanging from the trees and they eagerly scramble up the trees only to fall into holes filled with wooden spikes smeared in human excrement, thereby ending their threat (The Right to Bear Arms). Lee isn't too pleased and immediately calls out Luka, who merely points out he was following his instructions from earlier.

During this time Lee's and Luka's friends, Chris and Steph, hire a house sitter while they drive to Savannah for a wedding. The house sitter's friend, upset over the perceived abuse towards Steph's dog Bailey, kidnaps her. Chris and Steph return and, seeing that Bailey is gone, fire the house sitter and ask Lee and Luka to locate the kidnapper. Luka simply texts the house sitter to lure the friend into a trap and as they drive out of Charlotte Luka crashes into them using a stolen semi, killing the house sitter and severely maiming and disfiguring the kidnapper. Bailey emerges unscathed and as they leave the same van from Illegal Dumping appears and the same crew grab the dognapper's body and drive off with it (Dog Gone).


 * The Menacing Men, Killer Police Robots, and Dust Bunnies

The trio return to their repair man business model and have some moderate success. However, around June 2017 as they are building a gazebo three strangers arrive and trash their handiwork and drive off. At first they pay no mind but as the strangers continue to wreck their jobs and cause them to lose clients Lee finally decides to confront these strangers, who call themselves "The Menacing Men". The entire city of Charlotte supports the Menacing Men (who have gone on a smear campaign against the Bushwackers). However, the situation quickly deteriorates when Luka punches Baghead into a vat of chemicals, causing his face to melt. Protractor Man chases the trio into an alley where he injures them with metallic protractors. JJ hurls one of them at Protractor Man, cutting his zipline where he falls to the ground and breaks his neck. Clownface, the third member of the Menacing Men, is traumatized by the deaths of his friends and the trio take him back to Lee's apartment where they debate on what to do. Luka wants to give him brain damage using a hammer but eventually they elect to get him drunk so he can't remember what happened. This doesn't go to plan as he stumbles out of the apartment and is run over by a car. To further exacerbate the matter, this was witnessed by a crowd and the three are forced to lay low for a few weeks.

In the meantime, Luka goes to confession at his local Catholic church where he tells his parish priest what happened, much to the latter's horror. The priest is further disturbed as Luka doesn't appear to show any genuine remorse for his actions and ends up asking him to leave (A Good Confession and the Parable of the Older Brother). After that Lee encounters the new police robot, PRESTON, who deems Lee and the Bushwackers a danger to society and pursues him all the way to his apartment, forcing Lee to jump out his bedroom window where he lands on a Hyundai Sonata and is presumed dead. Luka visits Lee in the hospital and then concocts a plan to lure the police robot to an abandoned factory (using vandalism, theft, and other crimes) and they destroy it using a vat of molten metal. However, unbeknownst to them, a secret organization has been watching their actions the entire time and the leader, Mr. Finch, orders his subordinates to keep an eye on the trio as they appear to be a special interest to him (Preston the Robot).

After a month or so Lee returns home to do some house cleaning when he is possessed by Con-Zatar, the king of the Dust Bunnies. He asks Luka and JJ to help him get revenge on the Arachnid Empire, a race of gigantic spiders who have been at war with the Dust Bunnies for centuries. The trio sneak into their lair and eventually defeat the Arachnid Empress and the dust bunny king, in an act of self sacrifice, thanks the Bushwackers for their help and then impales the Empress in the head and they fall together in the inferno below (Lee and the Dust Bunnies). Lee wakes up a day later and asks his friends what happened. When they tell him the truth he immediately dismisses it and asks why there are so many dust bunnies in his apartment.

Crimson Dawn

Luka is approached by a mysterious woman who asks him for his help. At first he is hesitant but she convinces him to take on the case, handing him a floppy disk. Luka presents it to Lee who