User:Noodlescradle/Ida Benedetto (artist)/Statstudent38 Peer Review

General info

 * Whose work are you reviewing?

Noodlescradle


 * Link to draft you're reviewing
 * https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/User:Noodlescradle/Ida_Benedetto_(artist)?veaction=edit&preload=Template%3ADashboard.wikiedu.org_draft_template


 * Link to the current version of the article (if it exists)

Evaluate the drafted changes
The two primary things that I did to update this article were to add a link to (Immersive design) and to emphasize that twine was a programming language. I wanted to clarify what Wanderlust Projects was, but was unable to figure out what that was myself. I tried clicking on the sources and googling Wanderlust Project, but what I found wasn't personally informative enough for me to deduce what exactly it was. I added that clarification of that was in my opinion the most important thing for this article. In addition to this, some sentences such as (which creates transgressive placemaking experiences) seemed biased or not neutral, and suggested that fixing these sentences were a good idea.

Peer Review of her article

1. I really liked how you managed to keep the tone of the article neutral. You did a really good job condensing information, while still making the article easy to read. You also did a great job of clarifying that any opinions mentioned in your article were quoted and the opinions of Ida herself.

2. It sounds like certain sections of this article were copy-pasted from sources (Ex: which creates transgressive placemaking experiences). I believe this sentence does not sound very neutral, and seems kind of out of place with the rest of the article. Maybe a more descriptive term would make this sound less biased/opinionated.

3. When I was reading through the article, it was difficult for me to understand what Wanderlust Projects was. It seemed like a project or program of some kind, but more information on what that was in your article would be great.

4. I think the way that you managed to keep sentences short and precise was very impressive. The wording of your article was very good and I will definitely try to implement this into my own article.