User:NorthGoose/Callisthenes/Scwoopy07 Peer Review

General info

 * Whose work are you reviewing?

North Goose


 * Link to draft you're reviewing
 * https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/User:NorthGoose/Callisthenes?veaction=edit&preload=Template:Dashboard.wikiedu.org_draft_template


 * Link to the current version of the article (if it exists)
 * Callisthenes

Evaluate the drafted changes
Lead Section- I like the overall view of Callisthenes within the Lead. Additional information that could be included is how was he well-connected? Maybe stating how many works he produced and who read them. What makes Callisthenes an important historical figure? Did he influence anyone? Going more in depth with the detail will allow for stronger information later.

Clarity- I think the timeline of the article makes sense, but I don't know how I feel about his writings being before his death. Although it makes sense chronologically, the writings section is so different from the rest of his life (sections) that the flow gets thrown off. Just something to think about. I would also have two sections within his early life: One being his early life and connections to Aristotle, and the other being the Alexander the Great campaign.

Coverage Balance: As noted within your sandbox, I do think that some of the sections need to be longer, but I like the detail you are planning on adding. I also like the addition of Callisthenes and his death, and whether he died in prison.

It looks like all of the sources that are being cited viewpoints have been included, but potentially if you were wondering more about Callisthenes death, taking a look at the Treatise on Grief. Article remains neutral.

Content Neutrality: The well-connect part of the Lead needs to be explained to stay unbiased. What praises did Callisthenes show within the Campaign? Overall remains very neutral.

Sources: Good secondary sources, with many coming from journals. Additional primary sources could be just pictures.