User:NorthropChicken/Non-player character disorder

Non-player character disorder, also commonly referred to as NPC disorder or NPC syndrome is a mental disorder with symptoms that include blank, distant stares; repetitive, robotic-like motion; short-term memory loss and loss of athletic ability. Common causes include not touching grass, spending excessive amounts of time on screens or playing video games, and lack of social interactions with other humans. Affected persons are referred to as NPCs.

While the disorder only started to grow in prevalence in 2015 with the creation of Discord, evidence exists that it affected people are far back as the Medieval ages when low-class surfs and peasants developed the disorder from repetitive, tedious farm work.

The number of people affected by the disorder (NPCs) grew heavily during the COVID-19 pandemic, when everyone was on their screens. Since then, the numbers have only declined slightly. It is estimated that around 31% of American adults are NPCs, 79% of American teenagers and 33% of American children. Liberals blame bad parenting, the rise of youth cell phone usage, and Republicans as the source of this issue, while Conservatives blame bad parenting, the rise of youth cell phone usage, and Democrats. Either way, no one is doing anything about it.

Signs YOU might be one
You wake up, you check your phone, eat, then go to work/school. After you get back home, you turn on the TV or your PC, eat something, maybe you sit and watch videos. And this is what most of your days are like. Over the weekend, you dread Monday. You can’t stand another week at your job/school. Social interaction (in person) is not even comprehendible to you. The sole thought of it is weird to you, it is uncomfortable and even scary. No matter if it’s commuting to work/school or going to the grocery store/refrigerator, you take the same path. It’s always the same path, the same commute, the same mindless walk. You can’t even remember when you started taking that path every single day. You see people on videos and social media chasing goals, following their purpose. However, you have no clue what your purpose is. You don’t know why you are here or who you are. You feel as if you are missing out on something. The books you read, the beliefs you have, your opinions, it’s all mainstream. Most if not all of your choices are not even yours. You think they are, but they are really desires of the past, emotional reactions, generated by the flow of your environment, other’s advices. You haven’t had a choice that is completely by you. You are growing fatter by the day as you mindlessly navigate your circumstances, and if someone were to ask you what grass is, you wouldn’t be able to answer.

If you can identify with any of the above, seek medical attention immediately.