User:Nothing1296/Eugenics Record Office/Abhisheksoni2 Peer Review

General info

 * Whose work are you reviewing?

User:Nothing1296


 * Link to draft you're reviewing
 * User:Nothing1296/Eugenics Record Office


 * Link to the current version of the article (if it exists)
 * Eugenics Record Office

Evaluate the drafted changes

 * The article lead has not been altered significantly. The lead as is presents a clear and concise introduction to the office's history and to Davenport and Laughlin, the office's major figures. The additions to the article elaborate on elements already mentioned in the lead.
 * The content added to the article is helpful and elaborates on details discussed in the article. Much of the added content, however, pertains more to Harry H. Laughlin than to the Eugenics Record Office; indeed, nearly all of the added content overlaps with information already present on that page.
 * The tone of the added content is sufficiently neutral; most of the content presents factual information without significant bias or clear subjectivity. The added content describes Laughlin's work, its implications, and criticism raised against it.
 * Citations are simply present as links in the article and should be formatted correctly. Furthermore, the citation in the first paragraph is blank. The sources used, however, appear credible, but citation of these sources in the added content needs improvement.
 * The organization of the article must be improved. The content contains grammatical errors (e.g. "The ERO finally being closed in 1939."), very short sentences, and informal style (e.g. "something else"). The content in the sandbox draft is not filed under any particular headings, and should be incorporated into the organizational divisions of the main article thoughtfully.
 * The added content meaningfully contributes context to Laughlin's activities at the Eugenics Record Office, but presents mostly information that is already found on Harry H. Laughlin's own Wikipedia page. The additions therefore do help the article appear more complete but may provide more material than necessary.