User:Notsunny9299/Ihud/Hms2026 Peer Review

General info

 * Whose work are you reviewing?

Notsunny9299


 * Link to draft you're reviewing
 * User:Notsunny9299/Ihud
 * Link to the current version of the article (if it exists)
 * Ihud

Evaluate the drafted changes
(Compose a detailed peer review here, considering each of the key aspects listed above if it is relevant. Consider the guiding questions, and check out the examples of what feedback looks like.)

The lead for this draft accurately reflects all of the new information added to the article, though I do believe that it could be condensed into 1-2 paragraphs instead of 3. The topic sentence is a good introduction into the topic, and summarizes the movement concisely, and I think the section overall provides a good roadmap of the article.

The sources and content added do seem to enhance the article significantly compared to the original article. I think everything is explained well overall, but I think it could be made better by adding context to topics mentioned in the article such as "Ba'ayot" (for example who published it it, what language, where) as well as "Ner", and "Brit Shalom". If it's possible to find further information on these topics I would add in a sentence or two explaining them. I understand that a lot of these topics are very niche though, and do not have a lot of sources written about them. Also if a specific topic has an existing wikipedia page already I would link it to the first mention of the topic in the article. I think the sources added are academic and trustworthy but I would try to find more current information on Ihud after the establishment of Israel (are they still active today?) if possible.

One point that could be improved on when it comes to organization is the section titles. This is small, but I think the article would be enhanced by finding a more concise way to label your sections.

Article is well organized and flows logically.

I would add in pictures for the final draft, perhaps they could be of the founders or important figures within the movement.