User:Novem Linguae/Essays/Don't be stubborn at ANI

I've seen this pattern many times. A very experienced editor gets taken to a noticeboard, usually ANI, and the outrage against their behavior is almost unanimous. What happens next depends on what the editor does.

The wrong move
What does the experienced editor do? Sometimes, they'll get out their "bad move" bingo card and pick some of the following:


 * Ignore the ANI discussion
 * Defend their actions
 * Explain their actions
 * Blame something or someone else
 * Give a "soft apology" such as "I'm sorry that my action caused outrage" or "I'm sorry you feel that way"
 * Frame yourself as a victim and ANI as a mob

After this, the community will not be satisfied. The editor did not fully own up to their poor behavior. The editor failed to convince the community that they have changed their mentality and will not do this behavior going forward. An ANI pile-on will occur, and the community will issue a sanction or a community ban.

The right move
In reality, there is only one correct move in this situation.


 * Read the room, realize the level of outrage requires you to sincerely apologize immediately, and sincerely apologize immediately. Make a sincere and convincing attempt to communicate to the people you wronged that you feel bad about it, that you now know what you did was wrong, and that this behavior will never happen again.

The importance of reading the room
It is important that we at all times read the room. If one of our actions upsets the community this much, it doesn't matter how we feel about it or what the objective truth is. The only truth is what the editor needs to do to make sure the community does not throw them out.

In fact, editors should always be keeping tabs on what the community thinks and feels. Editors should pay attention to this and figure out what the limits are, what the overton window is. And if they ever cross the line of acceptable behavior, and the community tells them, they should listen. And they should calibrate.

No one is immune
I've seen some very experienced, net positive editors' wiki-careers go up in smoke because they were stubborn at a noticeboard, and doubled down when they should have apologized. No editor is immune. No matter how net positive you were in the past, no matter how many hundreds of thousands of edits you have, if it is a severe issue and you double down when you should be apologizing, you WILL trigger a pile-on and you WILL get sanctioned. Do this enough times and you will get community banned.

Do not be that editor. Realize that thousands of hours of work can go up in smoke if you make one wrong decision at one wrong moment. You don't want all that work to be for nothing, do you? Become skilled at spotting this moment when the community is so outraged that nothing but complete submission will be tolerated, and make the correct move to remain an editor in good standing.

It may sting to let go of your pride, but you will be grateful later. After you give a good apology, the incident becomes water under the bridge, and you are able to get back to the amazing and addictive hobby that is editing Wikipedia, hopefully without sanctions and with all your permissions intact.