User:Nsnoel/Esmeralda Santiago/Ayrielmarie Peer Review

General info

 * Whose work are you reviewing?

NsNoel


 * Link to draft you're reviewing
 * https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/User:Nsnoel/sandbox/new_sandbox
 * Link to the current version of the article (if it exists)
 * Link to the current version of the article (if it exists)

Esmeralda Santiago

I have provided a revised draft below.

Santiago was born on May 17, 1948 in the San Juan district of Villa Palmeras, Santurce, Puerto Rico. She was the eldest of eleven children while raised by a single mother. Her family lived in the countryside and descended from poor, peasant famers. In 1961, at age 13, she moved to the United States. Santiago attended junior high school in Brooklyn and learned English in two years and then attended New York City's prestigious Performing Arts High School. Upon graduating, Santiago attended community college and worked various jobs for eight years. After, she earned a full scholarship from Harvard, where she transferred and received her undergraduate degree and continued to Sarah Lawrence College for graduate school. She graduated Magna Cum Laude from Sarah Lawrence College in 1976. Santiago met and married Frank Cantor before graduating. The couple founded CANTOMEDIA, a film, and media production company, which has won numerous awards for excellence in documentaries. Santiago currently lives in Westchester County, New York, with her husband.


 * 1) ^ "FAQ."
 * 2) ^ Jump up to:a b c d e Casteline, Lauren; Domingo, Myrrh; Maekawa, Kazuko (May 5, 2000). "Esmeralda Santiago" – via the University of Minnesota.
 * 3) ^ "Conversation: Esmeralda Santiago, Author of 'Conquistadora'". PBS NewsHour. 2011-08-12. Retrieved 2021-03-16.
 * 4) ^ "How writer Esmeralda Santiago lost and then regained the ability to read." Washington Post.
 * 5) ^ Brenner, Elsa (August 8, 2004). "A Bicultural Life on Paper and in Film" – via NYTimes.com.

for eight years, she worked and attended community college, then transferred to Harvard with a full scholarship

grad school at Sarah Lawrence college

New section: about her different pieces of literature

Conquistadora

Conquistadora, written in 2011, is Santiago's latest piece. It follows Ana, the main character, as she battles oppressive societal expectations of gender, class, and race in 19th century Puerto Rico. Ana arrives in Puerto Rico at the age of 18 in search of power and money but instead faces the harsh realities of slavery on her sugar plantation. She became forced to navigate a society in which morality and immorality exist cohesively.

In writing Conquistadora, Santiago researched and explored Puerto Rican history extensively. Puerto Rican records and literature did not include the narratives of women, the economically disadvantaged, or enslaved beings. . Coming from a poor, rural family, Santiago did not have records of her family's history, and Conquistadora is an imagined example of what her history could have been. Santiago also touches on the devastating impact of slavery on the people of Puerto Rico, something often glanced over by popular literature as slavery in Puerto Rico was considered less severe than in other nations.

When I was Puerto Rican

"When I was Puerto Rican" was written in 1993 and takes an autobiographical approach to Santiago's childhood. It details her life from early childhood and stops at her departure from Puerto Rico or within her preteen years. She narrates growing up withstanding imperialistic American ideologies that often conflict with her Puerto Rican culture. Aspects like familial relationships, food, and coming-of-age became elucidated throughout the piece.

Santiago wrote her piece "When I was Puerto Rican" after receiving her degree from Harvard and returning to Puerto Rico. She experienced cultural dissonance as many Puerto Ricans considered her overly Americanized while Americans racially ostracized her for being Puerto Rican. Santiago's writing provides an intriguing perspective from those who experience both Puerto Rican and American cultures from the outside lens.

Evaluate the drafted changes
(Compose a detailed peer review here, considering each of the key aspects listed above if it is relevant. Consider the guiding questions, and check out the examples of what feedback looks like.)

Lead

I believe the early/personal life section is perfect! It has the perfect amount of information necessary without being overly detailed/using an excessive amount of quotes. In fact, this section has several amount of resources to support the section. I cannot think of any information to add to the During this section, the only critique I can offer is a few grammatical mistakes. I fixed these in my revision. If you need any further assistance regarding grammar, do not hesitate to email me!

Content

I believe adding the Conquistadora and When I was Puerto Rican sections were fantastic choices for your article! They appear to holistically represent Santiago as a multicultural author. One thing I would include in the Conquistadora section would be a photo, if able, and a section that details the piece's large takeaways. To elucidate, what was this piece's impact on Latinx literature (e.g. awards, influences, ect.) Also, I would include an important quote from the narration that adequately sums up this section of your article. This will not only add to your word count but it would allow the audience to read Santiago's personal voice. These same critiques also apply to the When I was Puerto Rican section. However, with the latter portion, I would add more to the summary.

Tone and Balance

I believe your content is extremely neutral. You do not appear biased in any direction. Great job! No critiques necessary here.

Sources and References

You have a great array of sources! I clicked on the numbers and they led directly to the sources linked below. Great job! You have a diverse amount of sources stemming from primary to secondary sources. Also, the sources reflect the information you have presented! Great job! Honestly, you could add to the personal life section some of the biography written in the Norton Anthology. It is not needed, however if you need more information that would certainly be helpful.

Organization

Perhaps the best aspect of your article, you have superbly organized your article. Everything makes logical sense. This made your article easy to follow for your audience. You have placed the correct information under the correct subtitle. No critiques necessary here!

Images and Media

N/A Although you have not included any images, as previously suggested, if possible you could include images of her literature. Perhaps a cover photo would assist your article.

Overall Impressions

This is a fantastic start! Keep up the good work! As mention, make sure to look out for grammar mistakes. For instance, try not to use the same word (e.g. highlighted) in the same paragraph. Also, at times you can consolidate your words. Please look at my revisions for reference. Also, I think the writing center can help with word consolidation. All in all, you have great information. Santiago's article absolutely needed assistance and you are providing that beautifully! You have a well-organized, easy to read/follow, article with fantastic sources! You have made a relatively empty article robust and full! Amazing work!