User:Nthedon/Mike Carfioli

Mike Carfioli - born Michael Francis Carfioli on September 5th, 1983 to Frank and Carol Carfioli is club house manager extraordinaire of the Coto Country Club in Coto De Caza, CA. Known by many by a number of aliases, Barf, Carf,THE Barf., Mike has gained a small "fanship" among his friends as a result of his many theories, "Carf-isms", and Top 5's.

Theories
Dad vs. Jackie Chan

Mike claims that his father can beat up Jackie Chan. Let it be noted that his father has no previous training in any sort of martial arts whatsoever. Additionally his father suffers from severe arthritis/gout. Also let it be noted that this statement was made recently, as in his 20's not when he was 10.

Michael and Sleep
The Barf has an unusual relationship with sleeping. He is the first to tell you he has only slept 3 hours and yet somehow is not tired. Many times this is meant to impress the masses and is usually stated most loudly in a group setting. The funny part of this is the fact that there are a multitude of stories of Mike falling asleep at the drop of a hat. Such as, falling asleep mid sentence and the time he fell asleep with his phone on his face and someone still on the other line. When alcohol is added to the mix the results are even more monumental.....

Please also keep in mind that it takes Michael usually no more than 30 seconds to fall asleep, drunk or sober. Michael has also fallen asleep with a taco on his chest that he was about to eat. And many people's favorite is the time he fell asleep in a car with a lit cigarette in his mouth. That's right, a lit cigarette.

The Vegas Story
In June of 2006 Michael went to Las Vegas to celebrate his friend’s bachelor party. The plan was to leave early Friday morning but as he was hanging with his friends Thursday night he had the a great idea, leave that same night and party all night long till the next day when they would check into their hotel. When presented with this idea all of his friends agreed and they left at midnight to arrive in Las Vegas around 4am. Around 10 A.M. after a little bit of gambling and drinking most of the guys from the party were starting to hit the wall as they had not slept all night, but guess who hadn’t. As most of the tired group waited to check in and finally take a nap Michael and a few others decided to meet up with another group of friends at the pool at the Aladdin Hotel and Casino. After a few more drink and some sun someone noticed Mike finally had hit the wall as he was sitting on the edge of the pool bobbing back and forth on the verge of passing out into the pool. At this time they told him to go lay down at which point he passes out and everyone takes turns decorating him and taking pictures. After this everyone returns to the pool to continue having a good time. A little bit after this a crowd starts to gather around the passed out Michael as he has been passed out in the hot sun for some time and are beginning to worry. After many failed attempts of trying to wake him that included slapping, yelling and violently shaking the Paramedics are finally called in. In an attempt to not cause any shock in waking him the paramedics perform a sternum rub to slowly bring him to consciousness in a gentle manner. As you can imagine this is causing quite the scene. Finally Mike shoots up with a bewildered look on his face and is quite upset that everyone is making such a big deal. If you know Mike you know what type of reaction I speak of. “I’m Fine!, I’m Fine!”. The Paramedics proceed to calm him down (don’t ask me how they did this) and ask him a few questions: 1.What year is it? 2. Where are you? To which Michael replies 1.2004 2. Mandalay Bay. (It was 2006 and he was at the Aladdin). His friends quickly step in to correct him as to not get any more inquisitions from the paramedics. When Mike finally composes himself and stands up he receives a standing ovation from the whole pool. The end.

Taco Bell
His love for this Mexican fast food franchise has led to multiple heated debates. So much so he has threatened friends to get out of his car and walk home from Vegas. Simply Stated: Do not compare to Del Taco unless you are ready for World War III

Sweat
Mike sweats a lot.

When around Mike don't bring up the following topics: sweat, how much you sweat, how wet your shirt is, etc. unless you are ready for him to talk about how much more he sweats than you. Because afterall sweating is a competition right?

Calm Down
Never. Ever. Tell Mike to calm down. Same goes for relax or any other variation.

If Mike were ever to inflict bodily harm upon someone (which no one has ever seen), it would be for something like this.

Carfisms
"I'll be honest..." is preceded before something he stats to be of fact. As one may assume it is most usually just his opinion.

"Fist Pump"

"Sup Buddy"

"I Look good in brown"

"I can teach you" (Said to a friend in reference to dancing)

"Just so you guys know....I drive fast" (Driving out to Vegas for March Madness 2007)

"Arrowhead doesn't hydrate me" (Discussing the differences in brands of bottled water. He is an Evian man if you were wondering)

"Come on Mike" (encouraging himself during a basketball game) example: after a missed shot carf will shout this out loud. He always runs down a ball out of bounds too, even if you are closer to it.

"Top 5" When judging the greatness of something as in "It's definitely top 5"

"I shot 16/20 today" Recounting to his friends his shooting day playing Basketball at the local 24hr. Yes he keeps his own stats.

"You are so wrong" referring to those who say that del taco is better than taco bell.

"I'm not a fan"/ "I'm a big fan"

"With a passion" usually referring to his hatred for Kobe Bryant, who he hopes has a career ending injury...And hes dead serious when he says that

Mike's Favorites
Football Team: Chicago Bears, Philadelphia Eagles

Baseball Team: Chicago White Sox, Phillies

Basketball Team: Chicago Bulls, Philadelphia 76'ers

Fast Food: Taco Bell

Action Star: Steven Segal/ Sylvester Stallone

Music: 80's

Bar/Restaurant: TGI Fridays

Dressing: Italian only!

Liquor: Jagermiester

Beer: Heineken Light

Word: Facetious