User:Nuch1102/Edythe Mae Gordon/Bigbuddos Peer Review

General info
Personal Life:

May want to write her name as Edythe Mae (Chapman) Gordon or some other variation to differentiate between her maiden name and current name.

The fourth sentence in the first paragraph is missing a period.

The word "and" is used a lot in the fifth sentence of the first paragraph. I recommend breaking it up or adding commas.

Comma after "anthology" in the second paragraph.

Change "disappears in the third paragraph to past tense.

Writing:

Comma after "anthology" in the fourth paragraph.

Short Stories:

"Hostess"

May want to reword first sentence of the second paragraph: "asking to marry her but Mazie" to "asking to marry Mazie but she"

The sentence on foreshadowing comes off as an individual's own interpretation of the reading. I suggest rewording or cutting it, seeing as the event of her death is later mentioned.

"runaway" in the second paragraph should be two words.

"If Wishes Were Horses"

I haven't read it so I'm not sure, but I believe it might be "fabric store clerk" and not "fabric story clerk." If not, ignore this.

You seen to be missing a word after "his" in the second sentence. I believe it may be "wife."

Poetry:

"April Night"

The word "and" is used too many times in the second sentence. Break up or revise the sentence so that it flows better.

"Buried Deep"

I recommend breaking up the sentence. It's long.

"Elysium"

Take away one of the "throughs" in the second sentence or replace it with something else. It sounds a bit awkward.

"I See You"

Comma after "poem" in the first sentence.

"I Understand"

The use of the word "seems" makes the first sentence come off as an individual's assumption, especially with the lack of citation.

Notes and References:

Unless you intend to add notes, I would remove the "Notes" part in the section title, seeing as there are only references.



Evaluate the drafted changes
The lead has been updated. It is clear and concise, giving a brief overview of what's to come later on. The content is specific, relevant, up-to-date, and backed by reliable sources. The tone is almost entirely neutral as well (comments above). The page is organized well into relevant sections pertaining to Gordon's life and work. It reads clearly and coherently. There are a few grammatical and wording errors (comments above), but none that are significant. I suggest adding an image or other media to enhance the page. Overall, the edits made were substantive and relevant. The page is in much better condition now than before. There are a few minor edits that need to be made (comments above), but aside from that, you did a great job.