User:Nuhanuhaloa/Kawai Nui Marsh/Megan808 Peer Review

General info

 * Whose work are you reviewing?

Nuhanuhaloa


 * Link to draft you're reviewing
 * https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/User:Nuhanuhaloa/Kawai_Nui_Marsh/Megan808_Peer_Review?veaction=edit&preload=Template%3ADashboard.wikiedu.org_peer_review
 * https://docs.google.com/document/d/1XinkJhv-VSzcZ8X9MW-X5nTxH_TPzDO7cqEgpft3_Pk/edit?usp=sharing


 * Link to the current version of the article (if it exists)
 * Kawai Nui Marsh

Evaluate the drafted changes
Aloha Nuhanuhaloa,

I love what you have done with this article. It is very informative and rooted in Hawaiian knowledge.

A couple items to consider:

1. You might want to utilize headers and subheaders to give each section a quick preview of what the reader is about to read  and I think it will be easier to see the connection of the moʻolelo you are telling about the place without it seeming like it may be going on an unrelated tangent (because it most definitely is not unrelated).

2. Additionally, it is hard to tell where your citations lie. Typically for google docs you can use the setting called footnotes (under the “insert” tab) to cite your sources. (i.e. some claim that Piʻilani Hale is the largest Heiau in all of Polynesia.). In Wikipedia, youʻd use the setting/tab called “cite” for this function.

Overall I love the improvements you have made to the article, it is so much better than the original and you incorporated a variety of sources which is always good! Content and grammar-wise I have nothing to add, it is great!

Mahalo,

Megan