User:Nyahbenett/Literacy in the United States/Ngdana Peer Review

General info

 * Whose work are you reviewing?

User: Nyahbenett


 * Link to draft you're reviewing
 * Draft: Literacy in the United States


 * Link to the current version of the article (if it exists)
 * Current Article: Literacy in the United States

Evaluate the drafted changes
I went ahead and made some minor grammatical changes. Overall I felt that this article maintained neutrality and encyclopedia voice! The added information are factual. However there is a lack of citations. I suggest that every line in the article should be cited by at least one source. For example: we can look at the quote "Brown v. Board of Education of 1954 ruled the concept of “Separate but equal” unconstitutional, beginning the desegregation of schools. . This decision was made fairly recently, an even though this was ruled unconstitutional, the effects of segregation are still visible today, as many K-12 schools in areas that are predominately home to BIPOC (Black Indigenous People of Color). This historical injustice relates directly to why a majority of the elementary schools with struggling readers are in low income and/or minority areas today." The last two lines of the quote are uncited. In addition, I believe that the second sentence can be split into smaller sentences because there are many many ideas that can be elaborated on. Also, I think it is important to cite "fairly recent." This is subjective to the scholar/individual so maybe saying "Some Scholars" before that phrase as well as citing the scholars would make it more encyclopedia voice.

Nevertheless, overall the article is concise and highlights the important factors of Elementary school literacy! There is maintenance of the encyclopedia voice. There can be improvements with adding more citations and choosing better diction that doesn't evoke any biases. If there are words that show biases, it should be cited and also indicated that it isn't the writer's opinion but other scholars who are participating in the debate.