User:OOCHIAI/Yuki Tanada/Yiyi Gu Peer Review

General info

 * Whose work are you reviewing?

OOCHIAI


 * Link to draft you're reviewing
 * Yuki Tanada
 * Link to the current version of the article (if it exists)
 * Yuki Tanada

Evaluate the drafted changes
(Compose a detailed peer review here, considering each of the key aspects listed above if it is relevant. Consider the guiding questions, and check out the examples of what feedback looks like.)

I think your contribution to the article is really nice and essential. There is a clear structure and neutral content from reliable sources.

One major suggestion is that there are many direct citations from outside sources. I believe this is improper for Wikipedia articles. You need to understand the content of outside sources and create your own content, instead of direct copying or simply rephrasing.

Also, every section needs a lead sentence or paragraph. It would be better if you could add a couple sentences which summarize the whole section at the beginning.

One small suggestion is that maybe you could delete the sentence "Yuki Tanada (タナダユキ, Tanada Yuki, born 12 August 1975, in Fukuoka Prefecture) is a Japanese film director and screenwriter." at the end of Japanese Female Filmmaker section, or maybe use this sentence as the lead sentence of the whole section. I believe this is a sentence from the original paragraph and looks inconsistent to your content if it is put at the end.

Besides the suggestions above, I think you could also work more on the detailed parts. For example, adding more links to important keywords like Moon and Cherry, One Million Yen Girl, etc. Also, those film names should be italic. Adding some pictures in the paragraph would be a nice way to make the whole article more engaging.

Overall, I think you did a really good job and I enjoyed reading it.