User:ObliqueFault/Granitoid/Kyra Robertson Peer Review

General info

 * Whose work are you reviewing?

ObliqueFault


 * Link to draft you're reviewing
 * User:ObliqueFault/sandbox-Granitoid-Adding content draft
 * Link to the current version of the article (if it exists)
 * Granitoid

Evaluate the drafted changes
(Compose a detailed peer review here, considering each of the key aspects listed above if it is relevant. Consider the guiding questions, and check out the examples of what feedback looks like.)

Lead

It is hard to distinguish if there is a lead, but I don't think there is since the information jumps directly into heavy content and doesn't provide an over view so the sections. There are no defined sections so its hard to provide a lead in that case.

Content

The new content is very relevant to the topic, all up to date and provides a proper overview of information on the topic. There are no sections or subsections just a large chunk of information. The content is very detailed and specific and heavily scientific, not great. Content is missing because it only talks about the geology, formation, mineral content and geological setting. Could have talked about what its used for and how its extracted and so on.

Tone and Balance

The content is neutral, no bias points, over presented. The content isn't balanced for a public audience and doesn't touch on enough talking points.

Sources and References

All the new added content has been backed up with proper viable references.

The sources are some what current but others are relatively old, dating back to mid 1900's so some information has been updated and sources are used repeatedly in some areas.

The majority of sources are journal or peer-review, some are by government administrations and there are some other generic google sources.

Organization

The article and added content is not structured properly, no defined sections or subsections. Not well written, too scientific for the public. Needs structuring and a clear and concise flow is needed.

Don't see any grammatical errors.

Images and Media

There are no new images added.

Overall Impressions

The content that was added improved the already existing information but the quality of the article doesn't flow, hard to read and sometimes hard to understand and follow.

More content is needed, it needs to be divided up and content needs fixing and simplifying in areas.

Some more images would be useful and increasing the sections with more information would provide a deeper undemanding of the topic for the readers.

Overall not the greatest and not enough information.