User:Oimoikosti/Materialist feminism/Caotc Peer Review

General info

 * Whose work are you reviewing?

(provide username) Oimoikosti


 * Link to draft you're reviewing
 * Sandbox
 * Link to the current version of the article (if it exists)
 * Materialist feminism

Evaluate the drafted changes
(Compose a detailed peer review here, considering each of the key aspects listed above if it is relevant. Consider the guiding questions, and check out the examples of what feedback looks like.)

Lead:

This part is a little confusing. I saw a lot of quotations in the second paragraph. I remember in one of the modules said that we should avoid using quotations even if it's cited. Second paragraph only talks about definition of materialist feminism, but you have talked in first paragraph already. I think you could do some edits here. I noticed that not all information in this section connects to the rest of the information in the article.

Body:

History section:

Like the lead section, there are lots of quotations. I feel like this one also talks about the definition of the term as well. I think you could add some more information here or change the title of the paragraph to make it clearer.

Relationship to Marxist feminism section:

I actually don't understand much about this section. However, I think it could work well if you can connect the information with the ideas in history section. Or could be sub-paragraph instead.

Intersectional approaches section:

I think you should do more research on "political economy of sex" and add some more information in that paragraph. I feel like this one should be the sub-paragraph as well.

Criticisms section:

First sentence in first paragraph mentions "problematic" and "unhappy couple". I think you should add more description over here to explain why and how it happens. This could be set before the intersectional approaches section. You could use the information in the intersectional approaches and relationship .. feminism section to explain the connection between materialist and Marxist feminism.

* Notes:

I saw you have 2 paragraph in your Sandbox that weren't on the actual article. I think your idea of having the relation to modern time works for this. I think you could add images to make that section more understandable (just make sure it follows Wikipedia's image policy stuff). Don't forget to upload your idea on the actual article.

I hope this help!