User:Okiecashew/Domnina, Berenice, and Prosdoce/Mitm0412 Peer Review

General info

 * Whose work are you reviewing?

Okiecashew


 * Link to draft you're reviewing
 * https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/User:Okiecashew/Domnina%2C_Berenice%2C_and_Prosdoce?veaction=edit&preload=Template:Dashboard.wikiedu.org_draft_template
 * Link to the current version of the article (if it exists)
 * Domnina, Berenice, and Prosdoce

Evaluate the drafted changes
Lead:


 * The lead is the same in the draft as in the article, but it summarizes the article in its entirety in a satisfactory way.
 * The lead only describes what the article as a whole is about, this article has very little information anyway, so there aren’t sections to include in the lead.
 * It is concise and only enclosed details that are present in the article.

Content:


 * “According to Eusebius, Domnina was am extremely wealthy and well-known Christian noblewoman from Antioch who had two widely-desired young daughters.[1] In Eusebius's account, Domnina was raising her daughters to be Christian also. She and her daughters were tricked into being captured by Roman soldiers, and in fear that the soldiers "threatened violation of their chastity" through rape, she asked that her daughters drown together in a river after asking for some time to rest from the guards.[1]


 * This section of the edited article does provide relevant information about the article. I am a little confused as to why the sentences above are all crossed out when it provides a bit more historical context. That might just be the editor wanting to keep a specific topic. The content is neutral and does not intend to persuade a certain viewpoint. I would double-check spelling and grammar throughout the first sentence especially because there seems to be a typo with the word “am”.


 * “The account of St. John Chrysostom tells a slightly different story: according to Chrysostom, Domnina and her daughters drowned themselves potentially with the help of their husband and father.[1] Chrysostom praised Domnina for her courage and Domnina's daughters for their obedience.[1]


 * This edit provides a different account of the same story, both might be helpful to include in the article since it has little evidence and content. It does still keep neutral language and remains unbiased. Overall just more information about Domnina and her daughters (if it can be found) needs to be added to the article. As of right now, the edits seem to reiterate points that were made in the article, but they are done in a concise way that follows Wikipedia’s guidelines.

Sources and References


 * The first source seems to be an organization of the orthodox church and the section of information on Domnina and her daughters was very small.
 * The second source is from a reputable book and is a reliable source.
 * Overall, all three sources seem to have factual information that is relevant to the article. I would try to find more book chapters on Domnina since there is very little to work with from only 3 short sources.

(Organization and overall impressions are mixed in with the review under the sections.)

Thank you! I will correct the grammer stuff you mentioned. - Okiecashew