User:Ol Evene/Pyrrhotite/Jushe1234 Peer Review

General info

 * Whose work are you reviewing?

Ol Evene


 * Link to draft you're reviewing
 * https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/User:Ol%20Evene/Pyrrhotite?veaction=edit&preload=Template:Dashboard.wikiedu.org_draft_template
 * Link to the current version of the article (if it exists)
 * Pyrrhotite

Lead
The lead has not been updated to reflect the new content added. But it does include an introductory sentence that concisely and clearly describes the article's topic, although the lead only includes a brief description of the magnetism subsection and doesn't describe the other subsections. This results in a concise lead with a strong introductory sentence, but the lead may only be concise because it doesn't describe all the article's major sections. Therefore, the lead should be updated to include the new content and include a brief description of the missing major subsections.

Content
The added content is relevant as the physical and optical properties are important to identifying pyrrhotite, which has many applications academically and in industry. The content is up-to-date, even though most of the sources are from 2001, but they contain information about common minerals streak, which is well defined knowledge. The sources that provide information on pyrrhotite properties are up-to-date as the sources are from 2020. All the expected content is in the writing; optical and physical properties are widely accepted as the two ways of defining mineral properties in a geological context.

Tone and Balance
The added content is neutral, and there is no position available to be biased, with no attempt in the writing to persuade a reader in one way or another. The content covers two methods of identifying the mineral pyrrhotite; both methods are explained in the same amount of detail, they are concise and comprehensive. The writing makes no attempt to persuade the reader that one method is better than the other, resulting in a balance of representation for the two methods.

Sources and References
The sources are backed up by reliable sources, as most are from a series of textbooks on mineralogy, and the other is an article that was written from two peer-reviewed sources. Citation 9 in the sandbox is a source of a website article; it may be better to directly read and reference the sources used to write said article rather than the website (found below).

Glossary of Geology, Fifth Edition (revised): edited by Klaus K.E. Neuendorf, James P. Mehl, Jr., and Julia A. Jackson, published by the American Geosciences Institute.

Pyrrhotite Distribution in the Conterminous United States, 2020: by Jeffrey L. Mauk, Thomas C. Crafford, John D. Horton, Carma A. San Juan, and Gilpin R. Robinson Jr.; United States Geological Survey, Fact Sheet 2020–3017, March 2020).

Furthermore, citations 10 through 12 are citations of pdf files taken from a series of textbook volumes; these citations have no reference to the author, just the publisher. I would suggest using a proper citation in addition to attaching the pdf file. The format recommended by the website handbookofmineralogy.org who published the pdf pages, recommends the following for citing the online pdf pages:

''John W. Anthony, Richard A. Bideaux, Kenneth W. Bladh, and Monte C. Nichols, Eds., Handbook of Mineralogy, Mineralogical Society of America, Chantilly, VA 20151-1110, USA. http://www.handbookofmineralogy.org/ .''

The references accurately reflect what the cited articles said. The sources themselves are pretty dated, but considering the content that they cover, the information is still correct and usable today. The content covers the physical and optical properties of minerals, which have been well defined for many decades.

Organization
The content is clear and well organized. Both methods are concisely described and end with the important identification characteristics. The writing flows well and gives a good basic understanding of the topic.

In terms of grammar, the content is missing grammatical articles and some commas. It would be a good idea to go over the writing and edit for grammatical mistakes.