User:Oli wal

Oli Wal (born 01 May, 1980) is an English gentleman who is neither rich nor famous. He has done little of note during his life so far and his future plans are just as few. When asked what he would do if he had all the money in the world, his reply was; 'Nothing, absolutely nothing. All day, everyday.' That is unless the killing of other human beings was legal. Then it would be, 'Killing, killing everything. All day, everyday.'

Auto Biography
Oli Wal was born in Leeds, West Yorkshire, England. He now lives about 20 miles away in the town of Harrogate where he probably will until he dies. But "hey" he says, "lots of people are gonna die before he does, and even more will after, the pile just keeps growing bigger which makes you wonder if there's gonna be enough room for the pile in the end".

During 2008 when he had long hair he went through a phase of thinking that he was Jesus. Maybe not THE Jesus, maybe like an alternative, modern day, groovy Jesus. Many others disagreed with this line of thought and believed he was suffering from delusions of grandeur, possibly caused by the lack of hair cut causing overheating of the outer brain goo. Scientists who were awaiting his death so that they could commence an indepth study were upset in early 2009 when he decided to get a hair cut. The Jesus train of thought ended soon after and the intereet of the scientists diminished.

Recently he has gone underground. Rumours have it that he is preparing for the inevitable zombie invasionwhich is expected to engulf the country some time soon. He can sometimes be contacted via Facebook and those other crazy new ways of communication. He does not check it all that regularly though expecting that once the zombies appear such sites and networking sources will quickly go offline.

Notable Events
Oli Wal has had few events occur in his life. The only one of note being when he "fell off a wall" and broke his ankle. Both ankle and wall were most displeased with this turn of events and promised that it would never happen again.

He once fell over into a pit filled with his own pee and, more than likely, the pee of many others. He once fell over landing on his face, on a motorway, leaving a large C shaped graze which lasted for weeks - he still went out and partied. He is banned from using Amazon (and gay animal porn) for ever, as is anyone sharing his name.

In respect of his lack of events, especially his eagerness not to create such events, the term "Olicentage" was coined to express the mathematical chance of him doing something.

Some say he is a gay, others say he might be, the Internet says he could be.

Books written about Oli Wal
None. Although he was once left a note telling him to feed the cat, that had his name on it. He both read the note and fed the cat. That was one crazy messed up day.

See Walkoism, or to do a Walkowiak (win the tour de France)

à la Walko - to succeed without panache