User:Olivia Jameson/Ephrem the Syrian/TreaBunny Peer Review

Lead:

 * There do not appear to be any changes made to the lead of the article by my peer. The lead of the original article includes an introductory sentence that is concise and a brief description of the article's major sections without including any information that is not present in the article. I do not know if there are any plans for the lead to be updated as more information is added to the original article so this may be something that needs to be thought about as we continue editing.

Content:

 * The content added to the article was relevant and ended up expanding the information relevant to Ephrem the Syrian. It provides further context for the hymns that were written as well as women's choirs and helps to expand the articles section concerning Ephrem's writings. Some of the information added is a bit difficult to understand, however, this is probably due to a lack of background knowledge on hymns and Ephrem rather than the additions themselves. The content that was provided is up to date with the latest source being from 2000. There does not appear to be any content missing, aside for the rest of the original article, or content that does not belong. This article also does not appear to address one of Wikipedia's equity gaps.

Tone and Balance:

 * The content that was added or changed does appear to be neutral in tone. There are no claims that appear heavily biased toward a particular position. All viewpoints seem to be equally included, as male choirs were discussed in connection to female choirs. This added information does not appear to persuade the reader to favor one position or away from another.

Organization:

 * The content that was added is all very clear and well-written. Nothing that was added or changed feels like it does not belong or is out of place and flows nicely with the content from the original article. After having read the additions several times, there appear to be no grammatical or spelling errors.

Overall Impressions:

 * The additions do a great job of expanding upon some of the details of the original article, providing examples of hymn cycles for information that was already listed in the article. You also added some great information concerning both women's and men's choirs and Ephrem's beliefs around this. I think one thing that could be beneficial to your edits would be adding links to any additional articles that can help the reader understand the context to your information if that is available. Overall, you made some amazing edits and it will be exciting to see how your final draft looks.

General info

 * Whose work are you reviewing?

Olivia Jameson


 * Link to draft you're reviewing
 * https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/User:Olivia%20Jameson/Ephrem_the_Syrian?preload=Template%3ADashboard.wikiedu.org_draft_template
 * Link to the current version of the article (if it exists)
 * Ephrem the Syrian