User:Oluchiao/Anthocharis sara/Mseelam Peer Review

General info

 * Whose work are you reviewing?

The work I am reviewing is Oluchiao's; she was assigned to discuss Anthocharis sara.


 * Link to draft you're reviewing
 * Anthocharis sara
 * Link to the current version of the article (if it exists)
 * Anthocharis sara

Lead
The lead does include a introductory sentence that is relatively concise and clearly describes the article's topic. Although I do think the lead does include a introductory sentence that concisely or briefly describes the article's major sections, it can be strengthened or improved. I do believe the lead, however, is not overly detailed. The lead can be improved by describing additional facts about the insect species such as habitat and behavior. However, I am a bit unsure where the lead of the article ends because it is not divided into sections. I think utilizing subheadings to divide up the content or subject matter would provide the reader with a better idea of where the lead is going to end, while also providing the reader with a sense of what is going to be covered in the article. Overall, good start but can be improved to strengthen article as a whole.

Content
The content added is completely relevant to the subject matter of Anthocharis sara. There was information covered from two main sources; one of which was written in 2018 and another of which was written in 2007. I feel like more content can be added from several different sources. Trying to search some articles using google scholar, the school VPN, or even through the school library can be very helpful for improving and strengthening the content. The article does not have content that is missing or only has content that belongs but once again quality of the content can be improving from utilizing many different sources. No, the article does not deal with one of Wikipedia's equity gaps and it does not address topics that are related to historically underrepresented populations or topics. I think strengthening quality of this article by adding more can ultimately be very useful for the public. For example, just reading through this I already learnt so much about the subject matter! :)

Tone and Balance
The content added is neutral and does not imply any bias in any manner. There are no claims that appear to be heavily biased towards a particular position. There are not any viewpoints that are overrepresented or underrepresented. Overall, the article does a great job not trying to persuade the reader in favor of one position or away from another.

Sources and References
The article covers two main sources, one was written in 2007 and another was written in 2018. The information in the article is adequately/ appropriately referenced in the paper. The references are cited correctly. However, a greater number of sources can be utilized to help improve the article as a whole. In addition, this adds credibility to your writing and helps readers determine and understand where that information was compiled from. Using more research articles and other peer-reviewed journals could easily help solve this issue and provide more support for your ideas.

Organization
Overall, the paper is written without many grammatical errors. Grammar and sentence structure could be improved by correcting grammatical mistakes and improving sentence structure.

"t is basically a California endemic butterfly with populations extending from Baja California into extreme SW Oregon where it is replaced northward to the Alaskan panhandle by the Julia Orangetip (Anthocharis julia). " -- Maybe change this sentence for example to not include the word basically and to ensure it is more understandable for the audience. Maybe you could break down the sentence too if need but not necessary.

"This is usually them flying up and down a linear path and is used as a way to increase the likelihood of sexual encounters with females." -- This sentence could be revised to further contribute to flow of the paper; it should adhere to the formal academic writing style.

Also, the paper could be broken down into subheadings. This would drastically improve quality of the article and would really help the audience understand what they are going to be reading about.

Images and Media
The article does contain some images. This definately enhaves the audiences experience with the article! The two pictures help the audience picture the species and contributes to their overall understanding. In addition, it makes it more visually appealing.

Overall Impressions
Overall, this article is a great start! It can be focused upon be adding more sources, correcting minor grammatical errors plus revising sentence structure. In addition, adding subheadings and pictures could really help improve the quality of the article! I think you did a great job and thank you for educating me on the particular species! Looking forward to reading your new and improved article! :)