User:On The Nile/sandbox

Group Sandbox Links
User:Carruxton/Moulting

User:Bokhan/Cranial kinesis

User:Carruxton/Snake skin

Article Review for Julia Pastrana
Article for review: Julia Pastrana

Intro
Whole organization of article intro is excessive/repetitive. Should be reorganized. Also two instances of plagiarism that should be removed ("undiagnosed in her lifetime" and "thickened her gums and lips"). Also confusing to read and understand what symptoms are attributed to which of the two diseases Pastrana had.

Medical Examination
Entire Darwin quote is unnecessary and unfitting. Should be removed.

After Death
Mummy sentence should be removed or rewritten. It is repetitive and mostly unnecessary. Charles Darwin descriptors ("renowned naturalist and taxidermist") should be removed. They come off as bias and it would be better to just hyperlink his name to his Wiki page (Charles Darwin). In general, the sentence should probably be removed or placed in a different section. Also nix the fate of Lent, it is irrelevant.

Group question
Most sources depict a narrative of a tragic story (which is true for Pastrana), but were sources ommitted depicting details that weren't just the tragic bits? (IE: at the end of the Life and Career section there's a line about her time singing and dancing - can that be expanded?). Overall, details seemed to be smooshed together and compiled by various sources without much thought about what's necessary.

Plagiarism
Plagiarism in intro paragraph.

A possible intro rewrite could be as follows: "Julia Pastrana (August 1834 – 25 March 1860) was a performer and singer during the 19th century who garnered attention for her unusual looks caused by two genetic conditions. She had generalized hypertrichosis lanuginosa, a condition that caused Pastrana to have excessive facial and body hair. She also had gingival hyperplasia. The effects of this disease caused her to have irregular teeth and enlarged ears, teeth, gums, and nose. Her ears and nose were unusually large, and her teeth were irregular."I would also suggest moving the location of her birth to the Life and Career section to avoid cluttered repetition in the intro.

Examples of Unnecessary info
Beginning intro could be revised to be more concise and less repetitive.

Inclusion of Charles Darwin quote.

My proposed change: the intro
The text in the intro is repetitive and confusing. I'd like to tackle the first section of it, as a member of my group working on this article is tackling the second hald which includes getting rid of 2 instances of plagiarism.

The original text is as follows: "Julia Pastrana (August 1834 – 25 March 1860) was a performer and singer during the 19th century who had hypertrichosis. Pastrana, an indigenous woman from Mexico, was born in 1834, somewhere in the state of Sinaloa. She was born with a genetic condition, hypertrichosis terminalis (or generalized hypertrichosis lanuginosa); her face and body were covered with straight black hair."My proposed revision: "Julia Pastrana (August 1834 – 25 March 1860) was a performer and singer during the 19th century who garnered attention for her unusual looks caused by two genetic conditions. She had generalized hypertrichosis lanuginosa, a condition that caused Pastrana to have excessive facial and body hair."I want to make these changes because they make the information of the intro easier to understand and present the information more concisely. A suggestion I would add to this is to move Pastrana's both, mentioned in the original intro, to the Life and Career section since the date of her birth is already listed in the parentheses.

Changes to make maybe later
Get rid of the Charles Darwin quote. "Charles Darwin discussed her case after her death, describing her as follows: 'Julia Pastrana, a Spanish dancer, was a remarkably fine woman, but she had a thick masculine beard and a hairy forehead; she was photographed, and her stuffed skin was exhibited as a show; but what concerns us is, that she had in both the upper and lower jaw an irregular double set of teeth, one row being placed within the other, of which Dr. Purland took a cast. From the redundancy of the teeth her mouth projected, and her face had a gorilla-like appearance'."It's unnecessary information as much of what is quoted is already mentioned in the article. It's also lengthy and confusing to read out of context. It doesn't seem to provide much insight to the Medical examinations subsection of the article.

Removing the line on Lent. "Lent later found another woman with similar features, married her and changed her name from Marie Bartel to Zenora Pastrana, becoming wealthy from her exhibition. Some sources claim that he was eventually committed to a Russian mental institution in 1884 where he died.[citation needed]"While this information is intriguing, the last line in particular is irrelevant to Julia Pastrana who the page is about. Plus, there is no actual citation.

List to choose from
Cranial kinesis: has small, uncited section on how snakes use their unhinging jaw. It's linked to on the main Snake page and could maybe use some work. Cranial kinesis is also just a cool trait to look at when it comes to comparative anatomy.

Garter snake: this is the snake my group is working with in the lab. The article's talk page has a note that if edits can be made, please make them.

Snake scale:

Snake skeleton: page only has 4 references, but is cited on cranial kinesis page.

Forked tongue: Page has lots of citation errors and little information (would probably be hard to add to).

Top 3 Articles

 * 1) Moulting / Molting - This page is driving me crazy. There's no citation for the entire reptiles section (an important section!). There's also a lot of excess information in irrelevant places (ie: dogs shedding?) and missing information for more important places (how exactly reptiles molt and why). It's also interesting to compare the ways different types of animals molt. (Also the British spelling is jarring but I know that can't be changed). I'd also like to investigate if shedding and molting are the same thing. Overall lots of interesting issues to tackle.
 * 2) Cranial kinesis - This page has a small, uncited section for discussing how snakes have a different means of cranial kinesis. Would be interesting to add more information to and to compare to the other examples of cranial kinesis on the page.
 * 3) Snake scale: This page has vague citations and could overall use some work.

Week 5: Articles Related to Molting
Cross reference articles for my assigned articles:

Ecdysis
Ecdysis page mainly focuses on arthropods (insects, spiders, and eurypterids). Defines ecdysis as moulting of the cuticle in Ecdysozoa. Ecdysis = invertebrates.

Snakeskin
My original notes on the Snakeskin page :

Has one sentence molting sentence ("Molting is common, and results in the entire outer layer of epidermis being lost"). The sentence hyperlinks to ecdysis page. Also has a section called Shed skin that discusses process of shedding. Still a minimal section.

Further notes:

Discusses the layers of snake skin. Mentions that "molting is common, and results in the entire outer layer of epidermis being lost".

Has section on permeability.

Shed skin section mainly focuses on the actual shed skin, but does briefly describe the molting process (outgrowing skin). Has commentary on shedding disrupting vision and causing aggression/behavior changes - feels like this info could be better fit somewhere else, not on the Snakeskin page.

Questions:

Does ecdysis as a term apply to snakes? In the Shed skin section, it attributes ecdysis to snakes, but I don't think molting and ecdysis are interchangeable terms. *Requires investigation.

Snake scale
The Snake scale page also attributes ecdysis to snakes (has Ecdysis section) - describes how outer layer of skin is completely removed. The first paragraph of this section is pretty relevant to the article.

It also describes molting function (remove old/worn skin, remove parasites, and possibly allow for growth). The growth comment is debated and could require further research. Also discusses molting cycles and associated behavior (briefly). The skin comes off in "one piece like an old sock..." - sock imagery is also used on the actual molting page.

Reptile scale
Reptile scale page has sections called snake scale and ecdysis. "The shedding of scales is called ecdysis" - is it though?

The entire functions paragraph is exactly the same as the one on the Snake scale page, so is the entire snake molting paragraph. There's no link to the Snake scale page on this one.

Questions:

Again, does ecdysis = molting?

What should be down about the copy and paste between two pages?

Week 6: Resources, Media, and Drafting
What I want to do :

I found an interesting resource on molting's relation to mating behavior in reptiles where it discusses how molting in snakes can contribute to the mating process. However, I'm still looking for more resources to assure that this is worthy information (even though the first resource is a peer-reviewed article). I'd also like to contribute to the actual definition of molting, adding in the details provided by the textbook such as how the various layers of the skin interact to cause ecdysis and how white blood vessels contribute as well. Again, I'd like to find more resources on this.

Possible Media Use
* images added mainly for practice, but also are images I'd like to use in my edits if they seem fitting*

https://commons.wikimedia.org/wiki/File:..._molted_snake-skin_(5355139332).jpg : photo provides an interesting and clear look at shed snake skin, https://commons.wikimedia.org/wiki/File:California_Mountain_King_Snake_Shedding_Its_Skin.jpg : provides full body image of snake in the process of ecdysis. Adds visual to entire top layer being shed in a single piece.

https://commons.wikimedia.org/wiki/File:Moulted_snake_skin.JPG: another good image of molted skin

Edit Proposal 1:
"It's been observed in snakes that molting can be synced to mating cycles. It is thought that shedding skin can release pheromones and revitalize color and patterns of the skin to increase attraction of mates ."

This edit would be adding two lines of information about the relationship between ecdysis and mating cycles. I have an additional source that backs up the information, but haven't pulled from it to write the lines I did above for the possible edit. I am struggling to decide where is best to put it - likely it is best fit to be included on the snake page in the molting subsection.

Edit Proposal 2:
I want to further define molting in the context of snakes (which is also applicable to reptiles in general). All the sections on molting in various Wikipedia articles note that for snakes, molting is when the top layer of skin is shed in a single piece, but they don’t explain why that happens (besides the generic concept that the skin is old/worn). My plan is to incorporate what the Vertebrates: Comparative Anatomy, Function, Evolution textbook adds to the explanation. It describes how new skin is developed beneath the old,  stemming from the stratum basale which leads to more development in the stratum corneum and granulosum, and ends up pushing up the old, outer layer of skin that is then shed. It also mentions how white blood cells interact with the layer between the new and old skin, contributing to further separation. However, I’m still looking for additional sources to help my own understanding of this process so I can word it better (and less like the original text).

Once found, I plan to add this definition to the moulting page in the reptile section.

The section is as follows:

"The most familiar example of moulting in reptiles is when snakes "shed their skin". This is usually achieved by the snake rubbing its head against a hard object, such as a rock (or between two rocks) or piece of wood, causing the already stretched skin to split." Between the first and second line is where I plan to add the new information. There is more to the section, but it focuses on the process of how snakes remove the detaching layer of skin which is why I think the description of why molting in reptiles occurs is best fit between the first two lines.

Response to review #3 (review by Olivia Burg) // Mentions of Dr. Schutz's suggestions
This response was the most in-depth which I appreciated.

I want to follow Olivia's suggestion and begin molding my edits in the sandboxes of the pages I plan to edit now that I've decided those pages (Snake and Moulting).

Based on her perspective on where my Edit Proposal 1 could fit on the snake page, I need to determine if what I want to add fits better in the molting subsection of the snake page or the reproduction section. As of now I think it fits best into the molting section as it's more directly related to the skin and providing reason to the benefits of molting. I need to figure out where exactly I'll add this information. In addition, I want to post my intent on the talk page of the snake article saying what I want to add, where, and the sources that back up this information (even if not all the sources I have are being utilized in the lines I've made).

For my Edit Proposal 2, I think I understand what Olivia is saying with how 'how' should come before the 'why' - but I think I articulated my edit incorrectly. Explaining why molting occurs in snakes (the processes that occur within the skin that create the dead outer layer that is shed) is explaining the how. So in this case 'why' and 'how' are intertwined, so I feel comfortable keeping my original point of insertion for my edit as I think it's best fit in the paragraph where I plan to put it.

Response to review #1 (review by DuneBuggy)
This reviewer ended up giving suggestions about the information already on the molting page that I listed on my page to show where I'd insert my proposed edit for adding more detailed information about how molting actually works. However, something that was pointed out that I need to revisit the page to know is if I should consistently use 'molting' or 'moulting' when writing my edits for the page.

Response to review #2 (review by Justin)
N/A

SUMMARY:

 * Begin moving edits to sandboxes my team created for the pages I plan on editing
 * Determine where my 1st edit, the one on molting's relation to reproductive behavior in snakes, fits on the snake page (ie: where exactly I will put my edit - subsection and paragraph location)
 * For my 1st edit, propose my edit on the talk page (include my sources and the exact change I intend to make)
 * For my 2nd edit, I need to buff it out / get it written. Otherwise I know exactly where it needs to go.

Week 10: Edit/Draft updates
Additional source for Edit 2: http://www.herpconbio.org/Volume_11/Issue_2/Lillywhite_Sheehy_2016.pdf (citation )

I have decided this edit will be best placed in the beginning lines of the Molting section.

The section already in the article is as follows: "Molting (or "ecdysis") serves a number of purposes. Firstly, the old and worn skin is replaced, and secondly, it helps get rid of parasites such as mites and ticks. Renewal of the skin by molting supposedly allows growth in some animals such as insects, but this has been disputed in the case of snakes." I plan to add my lines ("It’s also been observed in snakes that molting can be synced to mating cycles. Shedding skin can release pheromones and revitalize color and patterns of the skin to increase attraction of mates") after this second line of the section as it establishes a third purpose of molting.

*I have proposed this edit on the Snake talk page

Citing for Malia