User:OneWomanOneVoice/Housing Act of 1949/Jmjohnson43 Peer Review

General info

 * Whose work are you reviewing?

OneWomanOneVoice


 * Link to draft you're reviewing
 * https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/User:OneWomanOneVoice/Housing_Act_of_1949?veaction=edit&preload=Template%3ADashboard.wikiedu.org_draft_template
 * Link to the current version of the article (if it exists)
 * Housing Act of 1949

Lead
It seems the lead in the original article was removed for the sandbox draft. In terms of the original lead, an improvement would be to briefly outline the provisions of the bill, its impact, and the date that Harry Truman signed it into law. It is important to bring it up because that information comes up later in the article, but keep this all very brief as it's only the introduction.

Content
The direction of the content seems fruitful based on the alterations that have been made compared to the original article. I especially like the changes to the "provisions" section. The way in which the original article describes the provisions is lacking, so a deeper explanation of everything the bill does will be beneficial.

Tone and Balance
Overall, the tone and balance of the article is neutral and well-managed. The only area I would suggest a rework is the "legacy" section. Many claims are made about the impact of the bill that may need to be rewritten to reflect a more neutral tone. All of the information seems to have citations from the previous author, so it is not that the information is bad, it could just use a reframing.

Sources and References
The original author included many sources in the original article. Where you can, I would suggest removing any non-functioning citations and including your own even if the information and wording stays the same. After testing them, it seems a few of them do not work anymore, definitely remove those citations.

Organization
I like the direction for overall organization, though I think the long quotation from President Truman is unnecessary. It's likely that this could be summed up in 2-3 sentences and cited to his State of the Union address rather than quoted in full. I think a section on legacy/impact is very important, especially for a topic like housing. Just make sure to check the sources the previous author provided and potentially include some new sources.

Images and Media
Not applicable.

Overall Impressions
Overall, this draft article indicates a fruitful direction. The most compelling changes will be the expansion of the "provisions" section for which the groundwork has already been laid. Once a legislative history section is included, the article will be majorly improved over its original version.