User:Ooocean/Evaluate an Article

Which article are you evaluating?
Traditional medicine

Why you have chosen this article to evaluate?
I chose this article because I am intrigued by traditional medicine as a future avenue of study for myself. Additionally, I want to learn of the different forms of traditional medicine and where and how they originated. This article matters as transmission of knowledge about traditional medicine is how these practices remain in use. Additionally, many traditional medicine practices were generated by Indigenous peoples and articles like this allow people who practice and receive scientific medicine to learn from traditional practices, collaborate with Indigenous peoples, and combine scientific and traditional practices to identify the most efficacious treatments or medicinal practices.

My preliminary impressions of the article was that it was not too packed with information which is helpful as it prevents people from getting overloaded with information if they are using this article to just begin to dive into this topic for the first time. However, I think the article could have been organized a bit better to make reading progress smoother and make it easier to locate specific information, especially in regards to the Usage and History section.

Evaluate the article
My suggestions:


 * I suggest a pairing down of the lead as it seems to get a little too detailed to be considered just an introduction.
 * The sentence that reads, "In some Asian and African..." is unnecessary and this comment could fall under Modern uses subsection later in the article.
 * The last paragraph in the lead about WHO should reside in the Safety concerns subsection of the Criticism section later in the article.
 * A sentence or two summarizing what topics will be included in the article should be added to the end of the lead so readers know what to expect from the article.
 * My main issue with this article is the organization of the contents. Here are a few easy changes:
 * Since the terms that are described in the Definition and Terminology section are used throughout the preceding Usage and History section, I suggest moving the Definition and Terminology section to directly follow the Lead.
 * I would separate the usages and history section into two separate sections that both progress by year, with the History section occurring first. Additionally better indicate the timeline as it felt as though this section just jumped all over with random call-backs to previous time-periods.
 * Another idea that might help this issue is to give the history and usages in temporal order for each geographical location or type of traditional medicine practice individually. So the subsections in the History and Usages would be the name of a geographic location or the name of the practice type.
 * The Knowledge and Transmission section seems randomly placed and I feel its descriptions would fit better in the history section and specifically the sentence, "When the claims of Indigenous medicine..." fits within Modern usage.
 * For missing content I would say that in the section Safety concerns, examples of risks should be given so people can understand what these risks entails.
 * Additionally, if there is going to be a criticism section about risks their should also be a section on benefits/safety/environmentally friendly aspects of traditional medicine because currently I feel this gives traditional medicine quite a negative tone.
 * My last critique is a super easy fix. When talking about Indigenous people, Aboriginal people, or any similar group remember to always capitalize the groups name as a sign of respect and recognition to these peoples and their practices.