User:OpabiniaEnjoyer/Paracas culture/McGlacklin Peer Review

General info[edit]

 * Whose work are you reviewing?

OpabiniaEnjoyer


 * Link to draft you're reviewing
 * User:OpabiniaEnjoyer/Paracas culture


 * Link to the current version of the article (if it exists)
 * Paracas culture

Evaluate the drafted changes[edit]
(Compose a detailed peer review here, considering each of the key aspects listed above if it is relevant. Consider the guiding questions, and check out the examples of what feedback looks like.)

There are massive sections without any citations, so it would be good to either find sources to support their claims or replace the sections with stuff that is cited. I think the section about the mummy bundles is quite good, but that is probably the only section.

I am glad you are planning to talk about things that are actually relevant to the daily life of Paracas people, because there is very little writing about who they actually were. Van Gijseghem's claim is made very confusing in the article, because the difference in location of the Paracas and Nazca remains does not back up that claim at all, but then it phrases it like the paragraph is evidence for his claim. When it says the Topara "invaded," it does not explain what that means, because it is not discussed like an actual invasion, but a gradual move south, and coexistence.

By far the most important thing to improve this article is to find some more sources to cite for most of the article that lacks citations. Your plans for edits are quite good, and I think they address some of the gaps in content that I immediately noticed and wanted to see filled when I read the article.

It seems like your article has a similar problem that mine does, which is that is has a huge lack of information about the actual culture and people. Your edits will do a good job of addressing that though.