User:OpabiniaEnjoyer/Paracas culture/Minnesotaeducated Peer Review

General info
MtD17
 * Whose work are you reviewing?


 * Link to draft you're reviewing:User:OpabiniaEnjoyer/Paracas culture
 * Link to the current version of the article (if it exists):Paracas culture

Evaluate the drafted changes
The live article has a fairly detailed lead already. The lead could be more concise and there were a few grammar issues that could be addressed. The length of the lead outmatches the body of the live article which draws attention away from the detailed and organized attention below.

There were several sections with underdeveloped sections in the live article such as the Topara, Nazca culture, and Pacaras geoglyphs sections. MtD17 focused on researching and drafting information relating to the Paracas textiles and geoglyphs. The sandbox outlines specific methods and plans for finding more research and archaeological data to support the preexisting content in the live article. MtD17 is asking questions about the most modern and recent research and how that might add clarification to the live article.

The live article currently has 6 total images. One of the 5 images is a geographic map and the rest are photographs of Paracas pottery and textiles. It would be helpful to include images that support other content other than the textile and pottery information. For example, the Paracas caverns could be better understood with a visual aide. No new images have been added yet but the sandbox draft indicates that MtD17 is planning to add more images in the future that clarify content about deformations and trepanations.

The live article was already organized with appropriate headings. The edits proposed by MtD17 involve adding to previous sections and possibly editing the names of those sections.

The live article needs clarification in several areas. The sandbox draft lists areas of improvement and how those improvements will be made to the article. It would be helpful to see more concrete drafting to understand the exact content to be added. MtD17 outlines several areas where they will add extra citations which will add credibility and needed detail to the article.