User:OpabiniaEnjoyer/Paracas culture/Valin12345 Peer Review

General info
(provide username)Krillieee
 * Whose work are you reviewing?


 * Link to draft you're reviewing:User:OpabiniaEnjoyer/Paracas culture - Wikipedia
 * Link to the current version of the article (if it exists):Paracas culture - Wikipedia

Evaluate the drafted changes
(Compose a detailed peer review here, considering each of the key aspects listed above if it is relevant. Consider the guiding questions, and check out the examples of what feedback looks like.)

The first lead paragraph is really good, I didn't know anything about the paracas culture but from the first paragraph I know when they were around, where they were around, and the notable feature of textiles and it could be important based on the wording, setting up the textile section as the main section as it said they made a lot of contributions to the textile scene. The lead doesn't include its connection to nazcal culture which I think is okay but might be a wanted addition to the section.

I really like the burial and mummy section, however it looks as though the textile part is kind of engulfed by the burial section, maybe a sub section focusing more solely on textiles to provide better organization and give insight on how they used textiles in the whole culture not just burials. You could tie that broader textile section into trade and have the burial section focus more on the symobolism of the what they were using and go into the actual methods,

" ''Different color schemes characterize the textiles of Paracas Cavernas, early Paracas Necropolis and later Nazca-related styles.  The dyes used came from many regions of the Andes and are an example of reciprocity, as people from different altitudes traded with one another for different goods. The color red comes from the cochineal bug found on the prickly pear cactus. The cochineal was ground up with mortar and pestle to create a red pigment. Yellow dyes could be made from the qolle tree and quico flowers, while orange dyes can be extracted from a type of moss called beard lichen. For the color green the most common plant used is the cg'illca, mixed with a mineral called collpa. While blues are created from a tara, the deeper a hue of blue, the more the mineral collpa was added. The process of creating dyes could take up to several hours. Then it could take another two hours for women to boil and dye the fibers. This work was followed by spinning and weaving the fibers.''

''The woven textiles of Paracas were made on backstrap looms generally in solid color. These webs were richly ornamented with embroidery in two different styles. The earlier linear style embroidery was done in running stitches closely following the furrows of the weaving itself. Red, green, gold and blue color was used to delineate nested animal figures, which emerge from the background with upturned mouths, while the stitching creates the negative space. These embroideries are highly abstracted and difficult to interpret. The later used Block-color style embroidery was made with stem stitches outlining and solidly filling curvilinear figures in a large variety of vivid colors. The therianthropomorphic figures are illustrated with great detail with systematically varied coloring.'' "

these two paragraphs are in the mummy burial bundles section and doesn't really pertain to it more explaining textiles, you could definitely make a new section just based on textile colors, the surrounding trading, and the methods of making them. I think the organization of the burial section is good but yeah those 2 paragraphs in the middle about textiles dont fit and subtract from the focus of the section.

I think the images are good, there are a lot and they are all high quality and show something important like pottery, types of textiles or location.

I like all the references yall added,