User:Oroz0001/Dorothy Hoffman/Haileywelxh Peer Review

General info

 * Whose work are you reviewing? Oroz0001
 * Link to draft you're reviewing: User:Oroz0001/Dorothy Hoffman
 * Dorothy Hoffman

There is no work in the sandbox currently, so I will be providing suggestions for the article.

Lead evaluation
The lead is the entire article. The lead should definitely be cleaned up, and the rest of the content should be split up and categorized. The information is still good, but needs to be in a different place. I think the first couple of sentences should serve as a good lead.

Content evaluation
The content of the article is good, but should be split up and placed into sections as I mentioned above. There could also be more information added to the article if you can find any.

Tone and balance evaluation
The tone is neutral, and educational.

Sources and references evaluation
It seems like a lot of the information comes from one source--the obituary. While there is no plagiarism, the content of the article relies heavily on that source, which may mean the article isn't well balanced. See if you can find other sources to help the article. All links seem to work.

Organization evaluation
The content is not well organized, but the writing is okay. It seems like the original author tried to not closely paraphrase the obituary. However, some of the sentences are worded weirdly. I fixed a few small grammatical errors, but some of the sentences could be reformulated. The article needs sections!

Images and media evaluation
There are no images in the article, but I could not find any with a quick CC search.

Overall evaluation
I think there's a lot of room for improvement with this article, so I hope some of the notes I've made will help you.