User:Osad3840/Dog food/ZM9900 Peer Review

General info

 * Whose work are you reviewing?

Osad3840


 * Link to draft you're reviewing
 * https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/User:Osad3840/Dog_food?veaction=edit&preload=Template%3ADashboard.wikiedu.org_draft_template


 * Link to the current version of the article (if it exists)
 * Dog food

Evaluate the drafted changes
Lead

The introductory sentence of the lead paragraph for this article is concise and simply put, and clearly describes the article topic. The lead paragraph itself does not seem to be updated to reflect any new information the student author has contributed thus far. In fact, there seems to be a lot of information included in the main article paragraphs that are not mentioned in the lead paragraph, which is something to consider when making further edits. There are large topics such as mycotoxins, manufacturing, and the disadvantages of certain dog diets that are discussed in the article but not introduced in the lead paragraph. The lead also includes a statistic about the dog food market; however, this is never brought up again in the article nor is the dog food market expanded on in any capacity, which I think would be beneficial to do if the statistic is to be kept in the lead. Overall, the lead is a bit too concise and requires more information to fully encapsulate the contents of the article.

Content

The content added is very relevant to the topic of the article because it is about a certain type of dog food - grain-free and low-carbohydrate. The student author has added a good three-paragraphs worth of information and goes into depth about the issues that "grain-free" dog foods has been found to be associated with. The content added in this section is up to date, with information only dating back to 2018. One thing worth mentioning is that the header includes low-carbohydrate diets alongside grain-free, but only grain-free food brands were mentioned, so perhaps the author could talk about the effects of low-carb food as well. It seems that the student author has focused on updating one certain area of the article and I think they have done well. If other areas of the main article are updated in the same fashion as this, I think the contributions made overall will be of high standard.

Tone & Balance

The content added is neutral and does not try to sway the reader into thinking or feeling one certain way or the other. For example, the author does not insinuate that there is a correlation between nutrient-deficient DCM and micronutrients (thiamine, copper, potassium, etc.), but they state that if there is in fact a connection, further studies have to be done to support that theory. The author has a mature tone and their choice of wording keeps the article in a professional light. As mentioned before, there seems to be a focus on grain-free foods in this specific section over low-carbohydrate foods, even though the sub-heading includes them both. If there were more emphasis on low-carb foods in this section I believe this section could be improved and the weight of information could be more evenly distributed, or the sub-heading could be adjusted to just mention grain-free foods since that is the focus of that area.

Sources and References

The student author has added an extra six references to their selected article. All of these sources are accessible and are reliable, secondary sources. There are not any blogs, forums or discredited websites used so the information should be dependable. There is one source from the New York Times however, which could probably be substituted for a scholarly journal or other academic writing rather than a newspaper. The references stated are also relatively recent, except for one being from 1997. The sources added has a diverse spectrum of authors from different backgrounds and institutions. The student author gathered sources from reputable journals that cover a wide range of topics related to the specific article topic, such as veterinarian journals and journals related to animal science. When looking further into the references the student author used, the sources seem to accurately describe what the student author has included in their article.