User:Oscott101/San Joaquin Valley/Belfurblue45 Peer Review

General info

 * Whose work are you reviewing?

Cpediav


 * Link to draft you're reviewing
 * User:Oscott101/San Joaquin Valley


 * Link to the current version of the article (if it exists)

Evaluate the drafted changes
I love the approach to this assignment in my own opinion, and outside of that, it looks really good thus far in terms of the assignment itself. The tone of the writing is neutral, using passive voice and avoiding language that shows any bias or personal opinion. This addition will add to the overall article, showing interesting information relating to the oral health of the residents of the San Joaquin Valley. Something I would consider adding into this is some informational context that makes the information as relevant as possible to the article topic of the San Joaquin Valley. The sources used appear to be of good worth, and the organization is very clever.